Fairytale relationship too good to be true? Please help!

My current boyfriend and I are both sophomores in college and we have a fairytale relationship. Four months ago, he dumped his girlfriend of 11 months and I dumped my boyfriend of 1.5 years, and two weeks after that we were already flirting. About a month later we became official, and we've stayed that way for two months. It's all kind of been a whirlwind, but I am loving getting to know his heart and the way he works--we are almost the same person, and we compliment each other perfectly. I wonder a lot if we are soul mates, but I know it's too early to be thinking this way.

Here's the potential problem: He told me that with his previous girlfriend, he popped the "L" word when he asked her out. He also said that he regrets it because he didn't really mean it, and he only liked that she was pretty and that they made out a lot (we're both staying abstinent until marriage). Last night, he told me he loved me. I was taken aback. I told him that although I know we are at the same level of emotional investment, I have a different definition of what love means. I told him that I loved who he was as a person, but I wanted to wait to say those words until I was IN love with him. He didn't really understand the difference, but he understood that the kind of emotions we have at this very moment will pale in comparison to emotions we will have later. I told him I didn't want to waste words now and then have nothing to describe those later emotions when they come. But it was really late at night and I was tired, and after much talking and a few heartwrenching confessions, I told him I loved him back in a moment of weakness.

Now I am freaking out. I don't really understand his intentions on telling me that he loves me. Does he really love me or is he in love with being in love? I hope its not the latter--I really do have strong feelings for this guy and I want this to work out. I don't want to screw it up by becoming infatuated with the idea of our fairytale relationship instead of getting to know the other person better. Am I over-thinking this or what? Can relationships succeed and remain healthy when you've said "I love you" two months in? Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a difficult situation. You could be in a rebound relationship. Those tend to start out strong and fast then end soon there after.

    Usually, it is best to go slow after someone was with another for a while, but at the same time you two are young and probably going with the flow.

    He probably does have strong feelings (of desire) toward you/for you. Take it for what it is. He likes you and desires you. You may not have the same feelings just yet, but keep getting to know him if you really like him. See what happens.

    • What exactly does feelings of desire mean? Yes, we have discussed the whole rebound thing and we've tried to make sure that we are in it for the long run...but he's only 18. He's not totally mature yet (and neither am I). What can I expect, ya know?

    • desires you just means wants to have you... I have no idea how this will turn out.. it is one of those things in life that if you don't take the risk you will never know.

    • Thanks so much! I appreciate the advice--really helpful.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I agree, it took me 7 month to forget about someone I thought that I loved her and was my soul mate. Looking back, its total insanity.

    You need more time to recover and don't have sex with him. Usually when you feel "fairytale" like, one partner is more experienced than the other. I hope it is you and not him.

    • Thanks for the response! I am definitely more experienced, and I'm NOT gonna have sex with him. I'll keep all that in mind.

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