I've been on 4 first dates... Seriously wtf, guys.

each guy on these dates said in a very excited way that he wanted to see me again/couldn't wait to do things with me (watch movie, cook, etc.) in the MIDDLE of the date..NONE of these 4 followed up. including one who I texted and NEVER got back to me.

can anyone shed any light here?

things to consider:

1. we met on a dating site

2. they are all about 10 years older than me

3. I kissed two of them

They kissed me first.


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Doesn't matter too much but I'd usually prefer to do things traditionally (meet them in person) - that way you already know what they're like to talk to, and you can judge them yourself instead of banking on things they've said about themselves online which could easily have been fabricated or sugarcoated or exaggerated, etc...

    2. Never really a good idea unless there's really something special about them

    3. Did you kiss them or did they kiss you?

    Maybe you've just had bad luck. What urged you to go on this dating site, anyway? You're young, too, so it's not like you feel like you're getting older and running out of time to meet someone special...

    • I looked at the other answers and they're really onto something. These guys were very likely disappointed that they didn't get sex. And sex could be their driving reason to go on these dating sites, which means that maybe killbenlanier is right and you should avoid them and try to stick with meeting people in-person. But it's totally up to you. If you're confident in dating sites then stick with them.

    • @Update: Well then that lends more credibility to the theory that they were just in it for sex and were disappointed that they only got kisses.

    • Thanks for BA. What do you plan on doing? Following my recommendation and staying away from dating sites? Or just keeping on doing what you're doing?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Stop using dating sites. Those are whore zones. They were probably disappointed because they didn't get to have sex.

    • well I told one I was a virgin, and I refused to go home with another..

    • Yeah, that's the reason. Don't worry about it. There are some decent guys left out there. They may not come across as exciting, but they'll truly care about you.

  • Obviously something happened between the middle of the date, and the end of the date. But you don't give any of that infomtion (the relevant stuff) in the question.

    This leads me to believe that you know what it is already, but you're looking for a more palatable reason that you can believe instead.

    • I told one I was a virgin, and I didn't go home with another one. The other two I hugged goodbye when they leaned in for a kiss

    • But I can't believe that the no sex thing can be the reason.. Surely men aren't so shallow?

    • We're pretty shallow, but I don't think that's what is going on here.

      I think it's like this -

      THEY said they would want to see you again. THEY said they were keen. THEY leaned in for a kiss, or whatever.

      YOU did ... what, exactly? Pull out of a kiss? Way to show you like him!

      It looks like you were blowing off each of these guys, and no matter how they thought they were doing mid-way during the date, if a guy gets the brush off at the end of the date, he won't call.

What Girls Said 2

  • they probably said that thinking of sex. feeling excited they would get sex. its the only common denominator I can think of, that would excite & deflate so quickly.

  • 10 years older = bad

    kissing on first date = bad

    dating site = mixed bag

    So try dating a guy your age and not kissing em on the first date usually if they kiss you first date they just want sex.

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