She said I'm intimidating because I'm physically "out of her league"

Hey so I've been doing the internet dating thing, neither here nor there. And I found a girl I thought I would like to get to know more about. I sent her a message saying hi and commented a bit on her profile, asked a few questions, etc. I had asked if she wanted to chat a bit and she said I would love to, although I do find you a bit intimidating because you are way physically out of my league. Then she went on to ask me a few questions etc etc.

Anyhow, I responded saying don't be silly I'm not "out of your league" one bit. After all, I would not have messaged you if I didn't want to talk with you. Then went on to continue the conversation from the other message...

What are some things I can do to make her feel more at ease, from what I can see (more than just looks) I would like to get to know her more and talk more. . . I just want to make her not feel intimidated or anything. . . she described herself as 'having a few extra pounds' but looking at all her pictures I don't think she does one bit. Any suggestions?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Complements are good. "You look great to me." etc. If you're super jacked and she's a little bit squishy around the edges make sure she knows you don't expect a perfect bod. She sounds like she's quite insecure so it might take a while for it to get through to her.


What Guys Said 1

  • Strangely enough, I discovered through my involvement with a self improvement program that there are a very substantial number of girls/boys young adults who have issues related to self esteem. Frequent positive reinforcement of their individual qualities and their overall worth is helpful, though it may take time.

    As Saragee27 noted, complementary comments paid to her will be well received if they come across as sincere. Positive as in "You look terrific!" not as in "So you're 10 pounds too heavy, I like a woman with handles" ..Don't go overboard to the extent that she feels you're just saying what you think she needs to hear...and be patient..Good Luck

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