I never thought that it would end up like this, help?

Okay so I met a guy about a year and a half ago and from the very first moment that I saw him I had the biggest crush on him. I didn't know if he liked me back or not because we only assigned a work project together for a few weeks. A couple months later I stood in contact with him through face book by then I admitted to him that I liked him. We eventually went out on a date and he seemed like such a great person, we clicked automatically. We kept dating for a while until I found out that he was jamming his tongue down his ex's throat. I stopped talking to him and he claimed that he regretted it and that he still wanted to try to make it work with me. We stopped going on dates though and I still liked him so I continued to text him.

Eventually 8 months later I agreed to see him. We must have met up a couple of times and then he invited me to sleep over his house. Stupidly I agreed because once again I really liked him and we knew each other for awhile. At the time I was still a virgin. I got through the weekend with him managing not to have sex UNTIL I was about to leave. We started fooling around and one thing led to another and before I knew it, it was over. I felt terribly about it for a while and I didn't want him to feel differently about me so I told him through text and he ignored it. He would occasionally write me to tell me that he missed me. He invited me to another sleep over two weeks later and I went. Everything seemed great because we automatically click so well. But after I left he went into his same pattern of not writing or calling as often as he use to. I got fed up and sent him a text saying that if he's not planning on taking our relationship to the next level in terms of commitment than we should end whatever we have because I don't want to have feelings for him when he has none for me. He ignored it as usual and now we have not said a word to each other in two days.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I always cared about him. In a weird way I thought he cared about me too. Before I lost my virginity to him he was telling me that he was scared to do it with me because he didn't want to fall in love and get his heart broken, he even got soft at one point and said he couldn't finish. After talking with him and reassuring him that it would be fine he finally continued. When I'm with him he treats me awesomely its when we are apart that makes him seem shady.

I really like him and I never wanted to mess things up, what can I do to fix this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • From my experience, if a guy purposefully ignores me 3x in a row, it means he's not interested. I've purposefully ignored guys myself. At first there was a fling and some lust, but after I slept with them I realized I didn't like them that much.

    Most people don't "like" ignoring people. We get nervous about hurting the others' feelings or we really just aren't sure what to say or how we feel, so we say nothing. Or sometimes no matter how we reply to someone, they don't get the message that we're no interested so we just stop talking to them.

    If someone is really into someone, they don't have to think twice about communication and ignoring them is out of the question.

    Unfortunately, situations like these happen often and to a lot of people. It takes trial and error until you find that right person. It has happened to me a few times. Any attempt on trying to "fix" the situation will make it worse because it will be perceived as desperate. Just give him space. If he really likes you, he'll talk to you again. If you keep texting and trying to communicate it will just push him away more. How you feel is normal and you're going to feel attached to him since you lost your virginity to him. In time that will go away.


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  • I personally feel that if he was serious about you he would make an effort to have that communication. You shouldn't have to ask a guy to want to talk to you. I hate to say this but he does sound shady and like he was using you. Maybe he felt guilty for that and that's why he got soft. I think its up to him to make it work, you can only do so much. I would just express my feelings one more time and see what he does.

  • I think your best bet is to just let go of your feelings for the guy because he is just using you ad the relationship seems to be going nowhere. It maybe be hard but if he cared truly, he would act caring all the time not just when you guys are together.