The acceptable amount of sh*t you would put up with, guys?

Suppose your girlfriend sent you these messages:

"I hate your undeliverable promises! I hate you always drunk to meet me or tired or sick! I hate you put the beer everywhere!

I can't happy in your dirty apartment! You always let me clean,I go to your apartment not help you clean or cook for you."

You know she has kind of a point about the dirtiness level, and you clean the apartment when she comes over but still get the crap for it. Do you accept this behavior or dump the girl?

"You only come to my part of town once. I don't like your mean friends either! You don't know what girls like."
"Date your friends! They are more important to you" She ignored my text messages for about 2.5 days, and at this point I have to consider this all flat out emotional abuse :/
I don't need to be told I have some problems, I know I'm not perfect. Ever since my brother left I drank too much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • when you're in a relationship with someone, and you love each other, you make each other a better person and help each other. its like friendship too, when you're boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife for example, you look out for each other and help each other become better people, just as a best friend would. I think she is just giving you a slap of reality to get yourself together, yea its harsh and it hurts to hear, but she's doing it because she cares about you and knows that you can be better than that, you should take it with a grain of salt. she wants you to be a mature grown man who can be a potential father to kids and loving family, and so far you are not being responsible as you should be. its no different then a close bud or a bro telling you to get yourself together, or even your mom, all whom love you very much and want to see you prosper.

    sometimes we get yelled at by someone we like and it hurts but trust me, its to make us wake up and become a better person. I learned this recently myself actually, I kinda messed up at maturity at work and my boss yelled at me and it was painful and I just felt like sh*t, but she did it to make me be a better worker and I really did learn my lesson because I could have avoided drama and just been wiser about how I handled things. I couldve prevented it all just by letting it all go. we all get knocked to the ground by different people its part of life, but there's always a learning lesson behind it. don't take it personally just learn from it. I actually think the more a person yells at you in anger, the more its an indication of how much they love you (or like- such as at work/job boss employee relationship) and care about you. in life your mom will yell at you, your teachers will yell at you, your boss will yell at you, your lover/spouse will yell at you, someday even your kids will yell at you (ive had to yell at my dad to knock some sense into him), but its all because we care about you and we want you to be the best.

    • Or you can systematically kick these negative self-absorbed people out of your life... This bitch has a major personality problem. Nobody is consistently unhappy and negative towards someone they claim to love

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • If the roles were reversed and a guy was complaining about my drinking, and poor living space hygiene levels I'd probably try to shape up my ways. No one wants to be with a dirty slob whose always drunk. Luckily I'm clean and can handle my booze, but if you can admit that your girlfriend has a point in what she's saying then use it as a push to improve your own personal standards.

  • Leave her ass. This is the type of girl who screws guys over and gives them jaded, bitter views on women. Being with her is not good for you happiness or self esteem.

  • . . I'm betting she hope you would "change your ways" but if when you talk about it (and I mean YOU not her talk-scolding) you say she has a point, and you see how much she does and it isn't fair, etc. and say it all without any anger and genuine gratefulness, she should be less hostile in her messages. She might still get upset occasionally, but hopefully you guys can be nicer with each other about it :]

    • No these are her actual text messages I am quoting...

    • No, I get that- and that's really bad- but maybe they'll stop being so bad? If you talk to her and don't let her scold you before you can say anything

  • Obviously, she loves you that's why she's still with you. So, instead of thinking of dumping her you should try to fix the things that make her say all that's she's saying. If I was your girlfriend I would've left you -no offence and nothing personal- just saying.


What Guys Said 3

  • She is mad at you. Find out *why*. It's not about the promises or the drink or the beer or the dirty apartment or the fact that she cleans or cooks or the fact that you don't come into town very often or the fact that your friends are mean or the fact that you don't know what girls like and she doesn't really feel that your friends are more important. But she is whining like a dying dog and there is a reason for that, and you can do something about it.

    She doesn't feel important enough, and there's something in her life that makes her want to feel important to you. She wants to feel wanted and needed and special and lah-de-dah. One way around it is, obviously, make her feel wanted and needed and special and important, but that doesn't fix the problem. You'll change for her benefit and then she'll just break down entirely because she'll realize she can't blame you forever, and then you might not have her... And hey, maybe you drink too much, maybe you're dirty, but she's been alright with that up to now. Sure, you can change that and it'd be good, but not for her. For you, and that ain't what this is about...

    Just talk to her. A simple 'Is everything okay?' after one of these messages would do. You don't spontaneously get angry at your boyfriend when you haven't seen him for a couple days, about his FRIENDS of all things. Something happened right at that second, a few minutes before she text you telling you you suck. That's a perfect opportunity to find out what. You just need thick skin.

  • I don't know, but I'd probably stop drinking.

  • Dump her, she's a real bitch that never stops complaining. Seriously, never put up with a girl that complains so much that it causes you stress. If she thought she could do better than you, she would have left you already. She hasn't, so that's proof that she can't do better than you. But I have news for you, you can do better than her. Don't put up with a woman's nagging. Move on and start hitting on new girls.

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