Is it wrong that this hurts me?

so me and my boyfriend have been together almost 7 years . I love him very much, we only broke up once and was for a short time less then a year ago. due to problems we just felt like we weren't in love anymore. well since we been back together he still has the my yearbook account where he talks to all theses girls..

i don't want to be a bi**h and tell him to stop. I want to him to stop because he knows how much it hurts me. I told him I don't like it. he just tells me he is making friends and what not. but I know he tells them that they are pretty

what makes me feel even worse is he doesn't go out of his way to say I'm pretty or anything I have to ask him how I look for him to say anything. but he will go out of his was to tell them they are pretty..

idk what to do .. I feel like I'm not enough for him or I'm doing something wrong.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not that you're not enough for him, if I may assume, it just seems like he has something else in mind, a different ideal.

    It's not wrong that those actions of his hurt you. I'm sure he doesn't understand how you feel and I'm sure he has no idea, no grasp of even getting close to understanding until you take a stand for it. Doesn't know what he has until it's gone - okay, not that far yet, but sometimes even after you take a stand, it takes awhile to sink in.

    Now it might seem like a minor thing to take a stance on, because it would be like putting your whole relationship on it but if you think about it, it really seems like his priorities are elsewhere. They're on making friends, girls at that... right? He hears what you're saying as something he can have a rebuttal about. He's not taking in how you feel, he's not caring about whether he's hurting you in this instance... I really don't think you're his first priority judging from his response. And again, I know it's just about looks but I really think it stems deeper than that. His reaction is just as a symptom of something else.

    Other than that, I don't know how he was towards you near the beginning or during the first few years. Did he tell you that you were pretty then? Does he think that he's said it enough? I don't know about you but if I like/love someone, I always see them as attractive, both in character and in looks and I will tell them no matter how long I've known them.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Here is a bizarre idea that might just to him! Listen, if I was with a girl for 7 years whom I loved very much and she came up and told me that something I was doing was causing her to feel hurt and not good enough, I would stop doing that thing no matter what it was immediately! What he is doing is wrong, even if he's not cheating on you with these girls, if he's flirting and complimenting them and not you, he has overstepped his boundaries. You have every right to feel this way and you MUST sit and talk with him, tell him EXACTLY how you feel or else this will go on forever, leading you to break up eventually. You deserve to be treated better and you know that, don't be afraid to express your feelings.

    • i do, and I have. I just don't think he understands just how much it bothers me. as much as I have told him. I don't know how else how to express it to him.

    • If you've really poured out your feelings to this guy, ones that make you feel hurt an not good enough, them in my opinion you need to leave him. What's 7 years and all his "love" if he continues to hurt you and makes you feel bad and doesn't change, despite you telling him? That just seems REALLY messed up. I mean, what else can you do, seriously? Do you really want to continue like this?

  • You are not wrong to be hurt by this. It's one thing to make friends online. That doesn't require that he flirt with these women and compliment them. If he can't understand why it hurts you that he is showing more affection to strangers than his girlfriend of 7 years there is definitely a problem here.


What Girls Said 2

  • You're no way in the wrong for feeling hurt. It sounds like you may have let him get too comfortable in the relationship, and because he feels like he's definitely got you wrapped around his finger now, he thinks he's got some unfair wiggle room.

    Sit him down and tell him straight up everything you said in this post, without sugar coating anything. If he's worth sticking around for, he should slowly start stopping whatever has got you stressing out.

  • How do you know he goes out of his way to tell them that they are pretty?

    Well, if you do not want to put your foot down & tell him to stop it, then you should do the old "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." Get on yearbook & start telling those young men how handsome & hunky they are, & make sure he knows that you are going out of your way to tell them so. And PLEASE stop telling him that he looks nice.

    Turn about is fair play. He needs a good wake up call.

    I would not only be hurt by this, I'd be p*ssed.

    • Revenge is a horrible way to deal with this. It's petty and immature, and I can't see how this helps anything at all. I don't really see how anything beyond mutual distrust and jealousy can come from doing something like that. It's a "wake-up call", maybe, but there has to be a much better way of dealing with the situation than stooping to his level.