I can't get over the hurt of a "betrayal". Any advice?

I fell in love with a girl and later learned the hard way that no matter how much someone may act like they love you... well let's just say human beings are the only species capable of lying. it turned out she was the kind of girl who only fawned over people whom in her opinion were attractive. I learned this when she threw herself at one of my (now ex-) best friends, who is also a pretty decent looking guy. the thing is he's charismatic and a flirt and to him, playing around with her is nothing. but I'm not. I actually loved this girl; or who I thought she was. we were together for a long time for god's sake. basically they both went tiptoeing around eggshells with the whole issue which just hurt me even more. how can I just forget this incident? it's kind of traumatizing for a sensitive soul like me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I know how you feel exactly. But like someone said earlier, was your relationship okay? Everyone should realize that relationships will NEVER be perfect. There will always be differences and opinions involved which thus leads to problems, big and small. But girls are really sensitive and emotional. We thrive off emotions. So, something that's small to you, may be something enormous for her. Even the smallest things will make us run like little mice to the safest haven...She may still have feelings for you, don't assume that she doesn't. I'm not giving an excuse for her or women in general, but that's just how women work. We're so simple to understan d it's crazy how people say we're confusing when all we are is a sack of emotions. I know you're hurt like something crazy and to deal with her, I'd talk to her and ask her why. Just ask why. I'm pretty sure she's going to understand what kind of 'why' your're asking her and answer. Women will always tell a man what he's doing wrong when he asks. PROMISE. As far as the best friend, I'd let him go forreal. Enough said. I let my best friend go...lol.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Forgive yourself and her, then you'll find the inner peace to move onward. Holding on the grudges and be unforgiven only eat you alive.

  • Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else;)

  • she probably loved you and still does. was your relationship perfect? this might be hard to hear, but is there anything you did to maybe push her away? girls are sensitive, really sensitive and if they are insecure (is she?) any little thing you might say to them will set them off into thinking you don't love them. if she doesn't think you love her, or even if she has the smallest shadow of a doubt, she'll run to anyone who she thinks will fulfill her in this way.

    again, she probably LOVES YOU, but feels as if you don't love her *if she is insecure and if you might have done anything to set her off*


What Guys Said 3

  • Get some perspective.

    You say you were with her a long time. I'd bet money that I wouldn't think of it as a long time.

    You also go on at some length about how you felt about her, but never the reverse. Do you know how many guys and girls go through hell over one-sided unrequited love? Or crushing on someone who just doesn't feel the same way?

    In short, you don't forget this incident. You learn from it. But you don't make it some great defining moment of your life. You don't give it more importance than it warrants.

    You liked a girl, she cheated on you, and with your mate too.

    That sucks. But it's such a common place tale, it's not going to raise any eyebrows.

    All of those guys got over it too.

    So get some perspective, and see it (and her) for what they are.

  • Occupy yourself with other activities, travel, get some hobbies, learn a new language, anything if for no other reason to keep your mind too busy to think about it. Slap down negative thoughts when they come in, dwell on positive thoughts.

  • Welcome to the wonderful world of dating women. Oh and that guy was never your best friend or even a friend at all. The best thing you can do for yourself is leave them behind and never take either one of them back.

    Concentrate on improving yourself. That may be putting a little more effort into work. Maybe saving a little money to get ahead. Or learning something constructive and new to keep your mind off things. Don't forget to blow off steam with your real friends.

    I want to stress the importance of learning something new and putting in the hard word to learn it. That can really help you get ahead in your career. Doing well in a career makes a guy feel good.