Online dating - the first message?

So say you have a profile on an online dating site and a guy sees it and is interested

whats the first message you would like him to send you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, I know this is kind of dated, but I started online dating a few weeks ago and am curious to know if you learned a few things since then.

    I have sent out probably 12 or so intro messages, but have only gotten two responses so far. A female friend told me it is because the average woman tends to receive something like 30-50 messages per day. I've never gotten a single intro message, but maybe that's because I need to upload better photos than the semi-artsy stuff I tried to pull-off (meaning: don't wear a tank top and use sepia to take a bathroom pic just to post SOMETHING).

    For the two responses I got, here is what I did for my intro:

    (Success 1)

    1. Identified her profile pic from a J-drama I also know about

    2. Complimented her profile and told her what I figured out about her from the clues she left in terms of personality (because you mentioned X you must also like Y, etc).

    3. I told her she was 'f***ing awesome' and stated how I would love to even be friends with her (because we had so much in common I do think she is f***ing awesome -too bad it turns out she is on the other side of the country!)

    (Success 2)

    1. Listed 5 things we had in common (things which are a little uncommon, I might add)

    2. I suggested that we talk and asked her to check out my profile and message me back if she was interested in meeting at some point.

    For the second success she actually responded favorably to my intro and we exchanged e-mail addresses (turns out we both use proxy accounts for dating e-mail). I sent her a message with some suggestions about how we might be able to meet but I haven't gotten any responses yet so I'm a bit nervous. But at least I got two responses! I'm 2 for 12 (which I'm guessing isn't bad, though my profile must be lacking if women DO initiate contacts with guys -since I haven't gotten any intro messages yet) and I am averaging 21 visitors per week.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't have an online dating profile but even on social networks when men start messaging me, there's always an uneasy feeling.

    If I had an online dating profile, I would like for him to ask some platonic questions first like what's your zodiac sign, or try find something we can relate to or that he informs me about himself a little.

    Things like that would show he has an interest, with him having the slight advantage of keeping thngs light.


What Guys Said 2

  • Online dating is becoming pretty popular, lol my friend tried it and had 0 matches (he had a girlfriend was just curious).

  • Are you a dude?

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