Phone Call vs. Email/Texting... I don't get it.

A couple of years ago I had a new friendship starting with a new female friend. She was a very nice person and we emailed all the time. Almost for like 6 months or more. Then one day some how we exchanged phone numbers but I was really in my comfort zone with emailing so I never called so for about 6 more months we emailed more.

She would say to me that she thought I was hiding behind my pc. I thought this to be nonsense. She would say I have told you that you could call me but you just email or text all the time.

Needless to say after that she stopped replying to my emails. So for about a month, She pretty much stopped emailing me. The one day she blew p and said that she was tired of my emailing and not picking up the phone to call. SHe said that I would ask her to the movies and to hang out only through email. Which was true... She said that email was to impersonal when it comes to that stuff. Again her point did not make any sense to me. She got hung up on the process,

I was asking her to hang out because I thought it would be fun to spend time together as friends. But the friendship failed.

SO why is it that girls find email or text impersonal when it comes to that type of stuff? Thanks

I will say that she did call me a couple of times. Her point was she did not want to be the only 1 doing all the calling. That's what I did not understand. who cares we were getting to know each other so I did not see what that mattered. 2 her It did.
In my opinion it was rude to just out of the blue stop replying to my emails that asked if she wanted to hang out. If I said in an email hello how are you? She would reply. If I wrote bacl he movie X is coming out, I was thinking about going to it..


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really shocked that this person "blew up" about anything.

    You didn't have a relationship with her, what did she have to blow up about?

    Sounds to me like she's an unstable person.

    She's not your wife, why is she trying to control you? (even a wife shouldn't be controlling, btw)

    If she doesn't like emailing, why did she do it to begin with?

    I guess you're better off not being friends with an overly bossy person.

    • You know that's what I was wondering too... She was use to having her way that's for sure. I think since I did not chase her she may have took offense?? Maybe she knew that I liked her but I would not make a move or show her. She would often say I was hiding behind my computer and that I feared rejection and all that stuff. SHe also said that she was frustrated with me because I would not call. To me I did not understand why it was important. I never hinted that I liked her. Not one hint at all.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Actually I'm cool with any forms of communication.

    But I can see why she would get frustrated with you not calling her. A girl enjoys having a man call her, we get excited about this. She exploded because she felt like you would rather be informal with her than formal.

    A call is easier to make plans than an email or text message is...

    and you get to fully appreciate the English language.

    She's right. You need to be spending less time emailing and more time dialing.

    Emails and text feel like there's a wall, a phone call, doesn't.

    • Thanks for the reply. I could understand if she was excited about a call from a guy the she might like. But I was a guy that said that no matter how I felt about her I would not show her any attention outside of what I show my guy friends. (I don't believe in boosting egos or broadcasting what might be on my mind about that person) My feeling was that If I called her that she would get the idea that I might like her. I did like her but I was not going to let her know so I was not going to call.

    • A call is more personal than an email, like I said. When reading, one cannot convey the emotion in the speakers voice, which makes it impersonal. I think that's probably why she got so irritated. She felt like you were trying to be emotionally unavailable, which comes off as "he doesn't like me" in any way.

What Guys Said 1

  • If a girl wants to bond emotionally, e-mail is unable to provide this. What e-mail does provide is a hyped up venue where communication can be carefully thought out, editted, and sent in safety. It's not real. When you have a face-to-face conversation with someone, you don't have 15 minutes to carefully think out and edit a reply.

    E-mail may be comfortable, but that doesn't mean it's a "real" conversation.

    • Thanks for the reply... Well me and this person went out to dinner for her birthday and I would come to her events to support her. SO we hung out a few times in person and we talked. SHe called me after we did the dinner and said she had a great time. I took that call at face value as a simple thank you call. So we had face to face. I did use email as a barrier, I did not want to get stuck on her and have her think that I might like her. That puts me at a disadvantage.

    • From your update, it looks like she hinted that she wanted the conversations to move to phone and is unwilling to budge on this. You can choose to keep it to e-mail, but she has to choose whether to respond. From the looks of it, this doesn't appear to be an option she's keen on accepting.

    • You are correct we emailed for about 2 more years but then we had a blow up about it and she decided that she did not want to talk to me ever again. It kinda stunned me because to me every thing was good. Looking back(thats why I asked the question) I guess I should have called. I just can't feed a girls ego... That's my block even to this day.