Why did he ask my girl friend if he "ruined my life"?

This guy and I hadn't spoken, seen, or made any move to keep in touch for over a year after a pathetic split. We didn't date, officially. He wanted to move faster than I did, but I was still adjusting and was stressed (new college life, past breakups, etc). He wasn't playing it out so well either, and he even avoided me for about a month at one point. All in all, we weren't ready for a relationship. It ended in him telling me he really liked me, but wasn't sure about me, and that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. I didn't say very much, because I was fighting some trauma, furthermore suddenly put on medications (which made self-expression completely negligent).

Bummer, life goes on... :( Then, life gets better.

Now, fast forward a year and he chats my friends asking her if he "ruined my life"... and he said he was being serious. I honestly don't know what he could've wanted as an answer to that from my friend... was he drunk or being honest about how to say it or what? My friend and I both took the statement to some offense... She didn't know what ever happened anyways, as I was very private about that time in my life, and said her phone was dead. She told me to call him, but I didn't have his number either to contact him.

He's had a brief history of asking about me, talking to friends about me for intel... I'm confused by this style of communication- I wish he had just talked to me directly before!

It's crazy, I find myself so concerned about the sincerity of this and it's really irritating me. Until I get the opportunity to talk to him, I can only wonder... why did he ask my friend (who he thought knew about this) if he "ruined my life?"

I really appreciate the answers! Thanks~

**UPDATE: I didn't mention that when he chatted my friend, he was also asking for my number saying he lost it. That's when she said her phone was dead, but she really just thought he was being an a**hole and didn't want to just give it away.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It puts him more at ease if he knows you told both him and your friend the same thing. Guys wonder about that sometimes. We may feel really bad about how things went down with a girl, so we go to a third party to get the complete truth.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, I don't think it's that sincere. Some guys do stuff like that because they know your friends will tell you and it'll make them look like good guys, like "look, I care about you" when it's really just a game. But since it's been a YEAR... I think he's just self-absorbed and LIKES the idea that he had that much of an effect on you :P But that's just my opinion. I wouldn't let it get to you either way.

    • That's just what my friend and I were thinking. Thanks ;)