How to see a guy's true colors early on?

I'm so tired of being 100% honest with the guys I'm dating from the beginning, giving them my heart, my body, and random small favors only to get screwed over. I'm pretty, smart, and successful at work and school. I get lied to, physically and emotionally hurt, mindf*cked, told I'm not a priority, told I'm too affectionate, too insecure, etc.

I just want someone who will love and accept me for who I am without harsh judgement and will WANT to have sex with me daily. Someone who will love me like my friends do. Someone who will laugh at my jokes like my friends do. Someone who is hygienic and takes care of their appearance like I do.

I'm told I have to withhold sex for 3 months at least, or else they will treat me cheap, not taking me out on dates. Is this true? My previous bfs didn't take me out much, if at all.

Also I'm told that I need to reveal less of myself at the beginning so I can see what he's like first. Aka keeping my business to myself, not telling him early on about my personal struggles and making myself vulnerable (I take antidepressants), etc.

Are these good tactics? If so, why? Any other tips for seeing a guy's true colors early on?

I don't want to play games. Why should you when you feel a magical connection with someone and say "I love you?" I want someone honest like me but I always get played and lied to. :(

I feel like I'm going to date a**holes for the rest of my life...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel your pain :/


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Look at how they treat other people not just there friends. Look at the types of people he hangs out with. Does he listen wgen you talk or always talk about himseld. When you talk does he show real interest


What Girls Said 3

  • Don't worry hun, I've come across my fair share of a**holes as well. I would what they said; don't reveal too much or yourself or give to much away at the begining.

    Theres a reason the old women will tell you to keep that air of mystery. Mystery is sexy and makes them chase after you harder. It makes them try. If they know all about you and know that you are theirs then they aren't going to try at all. The chase is done. We've got to keep them on their toes hun lol ;)

    And men will treat you as you allow them, if a guys being a d***, I get up in his face. I've done this and now I don't have to worry about it. They know that playing me is like playing with they don't f*** with me or treat me like crap cuase I'll do to them physically what they do to me mentally *or physically, whichever*

    But either way, life's tough. Your heart will get broke and your going to have problems. And keep in mind: Not all men are like that. There ARE sweet one's out just have to look a little harder. or maybe ones right there under your nose and you don't even realize it. Oh, and dan123z4 is right. You can tell a lot about a person from that stuff.

  • i understand how you feel I like all this dudes treat you like crap when you show them attention

    • Idk where these guys get the anti-feminist vibe from. I want equal rights and to be treated like a queen, but I also want to spoil my guy like a king too! I wish my ex was here. I got so much joy out of giving him back massages and hearing him sigh happily...

    • Show All
    • guys tend to take girls that are good to them for granted not until they end up with a crazy ass girl that's when they wish they would've appreciated the sweet one.

    • He claimed I was acting psycho cause I called him when he ignored me

  • It's true that you shouldn't reveal a lot of yourself in the beginning. Or give all of yourself to a guy in the beginning. Because all the guy will do is take whatever you have to give out without giving anything in return because they don't feel like they have to. imo