I finally told this guy that I like him, but I'm not sure what his response meant?

So, there's this guy I spent a week with during a summer program we attended: it's been basically a month since the program ended and we all parted ways, but we still text every single day, we have been for a month straight now (as I mentioned before) except for one day, because his phone had died.

So anyway, on one of my other questions I asked about whether I should tell him I liked him or not? So I finally grew a pair and just did.

His answer was extremely confusing, however. First off, he was very curious about when I started liking him, then he made a big deal about how there's nothing we could do about it because of the distance (we live four states apart) and then when I asked if it would have mattered anyway if I'd told him if he didn't feel the same way (since he hadn't said if he liked me or not back) he replied, "Honestly, I think it would work out, your really cool, smart and easy to talk to...We have a lot of experiences and things in common..but unfortunately I'm not there and your not here for the show...maybe one day when you are, who knows?"

However, he NEVER actually said the words, "I like you" or "I sort of like you" or "No I don't like you"...

I asked two friends, one said, "He's using the distance as an excuse to not have to tell you he doesn't like you" and the second friend said, "I think he's into you, and he's interested, but the distance really sets him off, because he doesn't want to keep thinking about what could be".

So I need help figuring out what he meant. I'm not sure if I should bring the topic up again, because I don't want to annoy him with it?

And we still text everyday...heck, we even flirt! And if anything, since I told him how I felt, he's been much more eager to start up the text conversations than he used to be and he confessed that "I'm the only girl he texts so much within a while".

So hopefully someone with more experience can shine a light here?



Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly he is in a mindset of the oh well too far away. he doesn't want to think about the what if. If you were closer he would definitely be into you.

    The distance is the only factor, he is focusing on what he can do anything about. Four states over for most people is just too far away for anything permanent to happen.

    What you need to do is figure out if you or him are willing to get closer to each other or even meet up once and a while.

    Just don't get your hoes up on this one. Unless you can jump the barrier of the distance, you won't win him over.

    he does like you thought. He would never have told you that he think it would work out if he didn't like you, but as I said he is defending himself from being hurt or hurting you because of the distance. He doesn't want to commit becuase once you come right out and tell someone that you like them, it is really hard to stop thinking about. And when there might not be anything you can do about it, it will just be torment.

    Good luck!

    • Sorry my tablet goofed, I meant to say don't get your hopes up in that 4th paragraph, not say hoes up.

    • Hahaha I figured. What you wrote is exactly what I was thinking he meant. I guess I've been wanting more insight because my negative friend got me all jacked up when she kept stating, 'I don't think he likes you. I don't think he likes you. He's using the distance because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and tell you he doesn't like you". So at least I see another side, thats' good.

      Bottom line, I have family where he lives, so its inevitable that I'll see him.

    • @right out and tell someone that you like them, it is really hard to stop thinking about.

      You really think so? That's interesting-to me.

      For me, I don't think saying it has much of an impact one way or the other. unless you thoroughly discuss and, agree to being together, saying I like someone is pretty flimsy- as far as it affects me, anyways.

      My saying like u, causes me no more thought, than my already knowing I like someone-without saying it, would.

      Same thing if he told me, he likes me.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • Hmm...I think the best thing I can tell you is that actions speak louder than workds.

    Since you have told him that you are interested in him, he has still kept up communication, he flirts with you, you are the only girl he texts frequently in a short amount of time, and he basically told you he liked you.

    "Honestly, I think it would work out, your really cool, smart and easy to talk to...We have a lot of experiences and things in common..but unfortunately I'm not there and your not here for the show...maybe one day when you are, who knows?"

    He did say that he thinks it will work out, and tossed a couple of compliments your way. He also didn't say no. He said, "Who knows?" I honestly think that's more of a "yes" than a "no." He didn't have to add that last bit, either: "...maybe one day when you are, who knows?" He could've left it off at "...your not here for the show..."

    Your negative friend needs to hush. Since you have family there anyway, you could be with him, even if it is for a short while.

    A short while is better than nothing, no?

    So, like I said earlier, I don't have much experience...but I still hoped I helped you. :D

  • I think he likes you, but the distance is setting him off. And he probably didn't say the actual words of I like you because that's just how some men are. He's not saying it because in his mind he really believes that the distance will make it impossible.

  • Actually, I think he just takes what he is offered. I mean, he might like you in the future because you both keep communication, flirting, caring... But I don't think he does really like you know. He make a lot of unnecessary excuses and even admit that "maybe one day when you are, who knows". He thinks you're a good girl and he just leaves himself a good option for the future.

  • The distance between you and him is fixed.

    So why you told him you like him? You don't mind this long distance?

    Why he does consider this is the root stop having a relationship with you?

    The answer is quite obvious.

    You like him>he likes you.

    So, calm down and don't stop meeting guys :)

    Yea, like he said, "maybe one day, who knows..."