Doubts about her boyfriend with somewhat limited info

Hi I'm curious about something. My Female BFF (Best Friends Forever) has been with her current boyfriend for about a year and a half now. I really don't know him well and considering he lives several states away right now from both myself and my friend its not easy to hang out regularly and get to know him that way. I've been a long-time friend of her and her family.(I'm like a son to her mom by this point) My friend and her boyfriend have what she calls a "mean love" and although she seem to not elaborate on what it was I got the feeling that it was like a intense version of teasing or something and she said that's just the way we love each other. She recently came back from a trip to see him where she wanted no outside communication with anyone in anyway except for her parents. and she came back with a "promise ring" that her boyfriend got her. I'm kinda skeptical on how long this "mean love" of theirs will keep the relationship going, but as long as he treats her right and she's happy then I'm happy for her. My question is how do I if at all talk to her about my concerns? I have a strange feeling that she won't wanna hear me out. But I'm not sure why. Or at the very least any ideas in how to get to know him better so that I might have a better understanding than now? (I've sorta grown over the years into a protective big-brother figure ya know, just looking out for her when it comes to these things.) thoughts on both questions would be great. thanks!

Alright no need to further answer this question. I learned from her that the other day about a week after returning home my friend and her boyfriend suddenly broke up and it seems for good. So I appreciate all who answered thus far, and there's no need to answer further.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's a good idea to tell her about your concerns especially that she seems happy and just arrived with a "promise ring". Sometimes we must let our loved ones experience life by themselves. We are there for support if they allow us. I understand your concerns. I'd have to tell you that even if he wasn't the right one for her, she has to decide this for herself. If you told her that you don't like him or pointed out his negatives (without him doing anything drastic), she'll accuse you of being not supportive or caring. And even if he's not that serious about her, it's still a good experience for her to love, to suffer and to learn valuable life lessons.

    Your role is to be there whenever she needs you or if something bad happened. Until then, I don't think it's a good idea to talk badly of him. Let him live her life and be happy.

    Hope this helps. :)


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