Do you think it's desperate to pursue someone because you think they like you?

I have a friend who thinks it is. She thinks that in that case, you're going after the "sure thing" because you haven't found what you really want. In some instances, I think it can be, but not so much in others. It's natural to suspect if someone is flirting with if you know how different personalities generally flirt.

On the one hand, if you suspect someone is flirting and you're not particularly interested, but you go after them anyway because you want a boyfriend/girlfriend, I'd say yes, that could be desperate (but even then, I don't see much wrong with at least giving it a try).

On the other hand, if you're at least basically familiar with someone (not quite friends, but more than name and face recognition) and the way they interact with you seems different than others, you like the way they interact with you, and you think you could be great for each other, I see nothing desperate about that at all.

Plus, you never really know for certain unless you hear it directly from the other person. What do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I still struggle with this since the only way to tell if they are intrested is to read body language

    But if your not good at reading body language you are actually going to pay attention to the body movements and your conversation will be short since your attention is elsewhere

    Even then trying to get eye contact and trying to maintain it is also rather intimidating while having a conversation with them and it could scare them away. I had 2 diffrent girls today I spoke to and I kinda noticed they where looking in all directions while having a conversation, so I guess that it id came off as some kind of freak perhaps even so the conversation I had with both was going great even so I could not tell if they liked me or not. One girl was avoiding eye contact and seemed shy and only gave me a quick glance when I gave a compliment he other only looked at me when she made a joke or was giving me an answer

    I guess the best way is to ask but well (both these girls are friends so I'm taking the body language route with both of them) body language doesn't always tell you if they do like you and if your inexperienced your going to need multiple tries and make them uncomfortable if they don't like you. even so asking trustable friends if they know this oerson and getting to know if they like you too is a great idea


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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with you on both your points.

    For me, the only person I ever had like me as more than a friend, was WAYYYYYY to young for me and he called me "mommy" it drove me insane. So I said I'd still talk to him but nothing more, luckily, he lives in another country, ha! I was not that desparate :)

    As for now, I don't actually feel persay I am "chasing" him, I keep telling myself, he won't like my back (differnet guy) but there is something so amazing about him, he is the only person in my life thus far, I am completely happy around, and I can be myself. So I am enjoying the friendship. I don't see a point in not keeping something that's going well, just because it makes me seem desparate or chasing. If he ever liked me back, I'd probably cry from pure happiness but I am not nieve enough to expect it. Not desparate, just loving spending time with him and keeping it moving forward.


What Guys Said 2

  • I think it depends on the intentions

    If I'm going for her because I don't think another girl will like me then its desperation

    Idk about settling for what "you want" because how many times do you actually find what you're looking for in dating? Yeah some qualities ate okay but never everything we imagined before we met them

  • What if you're really attracted to people who like you? What if that's like, a fetish?

    You know what turns me on a lot? When a girl really really likes me.