I am cute, hot really, successful, have my own awesome place. Yet I can't seem to find a boyfriend. A serious relationship. I'll admit I have a codependent personality, (I was with my ex for 10 years, and the ex before that 4yrs). But now I'm striving to find happiness on my own terms and not through a relationship. As hard as I try, nothing brings me the joy and satisfaction as when I start dating someone. I am highly against being pushy with men, on the contrary I stay away and expect them to pursue. But I am passive aggressive and a man can just sense the fact that I want a relationship. Is there any hope of feeling happy and content on my own?
Most Helpful Guy
You really need some therapy. There are REASONS for your co-dependency and your passive-aggressiveness; they are old wounds that have been allowed to fester and were never dealt with, and so they have never healed, and until you finally give them the attention they need, they will continue to hobble you. Therapy will help you discover those wounds, and give you a plan to treat them, so they can finally heal and leave you a whole person again.
If you don't love, respect, and find joy within YOURSELF, no man will be able to find it in you either. You'll end up with men who have similar problems, and you'll never have any stability or safety in the relationship. Your heart has been poisoned, and until that is washed away, you bring that poison into every relationship you enter.
But these problems CAN be solved! I'm not saying that it will be easy, and you will likely have to face and accept somethings that you'd rather just ignore and pretend don't exist, and you may have to learn to change how you think about some things (perhaps the hardest thing of all), but you CAN do it if you WANT to and if you WORK at it. Or you can continue on the same path you're on now forever. The choice is yours. Both are actually hard work and come with a measure of struggle and pain, but only one path leads to a reward.0