I don't see us ever getting past the truth or me living with this worst case scenario!

I love my boyfriend so much he's amazing! We met a few months back in class and we've spent almost everyday together sense...

To cut right to it I have done things in the past that I'm not proud of...I went through a time where I was hooking with guys offline a lot out of boredom need for affection what have you...

I always had a thing for older guys so I hooked up with a guy in his 40s once...well I was at my bfs apartment and was sitting on the couch when I saw a familiar face..I'm sure you can see where this is going I don't want to even write it out but there in a picture frame was the 40something guy I hooked up with...I ask my boyfriend who the man was to him he said it was his dad...I am so horrified at this point I don't know what to do my boyfriend keeps trying to invite me to his parents house because he does landscaping jobs with his dad and wants me around I'm running out of excuses and at this point I'm considering just breaking it off...because I don't see us ever getting past the truth or me living with this worst case scenario ...just please advice whatever you got I get this is awkward and unusual but any piece of advice helps...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry but there's no way around the big 40 year old elephant in this room. You're going to have to end it, and you should do so with a lie (I hate to say it, but yea). Don't tell him the truth, it will do much more damage than good. He'll never be able to get past it, no matter what. In fact knowing might cause him to either do something stupid or cruel. Obviously his dad will probably not say a thing even if you don't tell him, but he'll never look at you like a nice girl dating his son, you'll just be that great piece he used to nail. Worst case scenario (and very possible) he might still try and screw you while your dating his son.

    There's no way out of this but to end it. I'm sorry.

    • Its sad but my feelings of mental preservation are stronger than my feelings for him I feel somewhat like a coward but as you're pointing out there's noway out of this I even still had this really cool lighter his dad left at my place tht I just buried in a dumpster, and now I'm paranoid tht my boyfriend will find something else he left which is impossible but I'm so f***ing paranoid its making me sick

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What Guys Said 2

  • Leave now and never look back. You can not ever change what has happened in the past but you can destroy a family. Find some excuse to end it, anything, go cheat on him or get mad at him for something stupin and blow it out of the water like he killed your best friend or something. Just run away and keep running, nothing good could ever come from your relationship with him now.

    • I really just want to f***ing disappear to be honest I don't know how I'd deal if he found out I don't to to his apartment anymore for fear his dad will stop by

    • I really am so sorry for you. I can't even think what the odds had to be for this to happen, you have some really bad luck girl. You have to find a way to create space from him and then just disappear out of his life. Don't comfront him face to face, he will know something is really wrong and in your weak state you may reveal more than you mean to. Seriously, this could be devastating to him and his family, please find a way to leave soon. It is completly unfair I know, I am so sad for you.

  • It's going to be an issue, no way around it. You've just got handle yourself as best possible, and move forward.


What Girls Said 2

  • No. The best thing you can do is tell them the truth. Talk to the dad or your boyfriend first (I think you should talk to the dad first) privately and explain what happened and what your side of the story or case is. Then decide on what to do together. Apologize and say you never meant it to happen. Tell him you really like his son and that you hope to be forgiven and bury the hatchet. Also, tell him to let you be the one to tell his son the story (like why you've been making excuses and stuff). Maybe you could ask for his blessing afterwards? P.S. I know it will be awkward but they deserved to know the truth especially your boyfriend. He's probably been meaning to introduce you to his parents. Better they find out from you than from someone else.

  • I'm so sorry :( this is a toughie for people like Carolyn Hax...

    Well, since you have a thing for older guys, why not try pursuing a relationship with one for next time?

    • I honestly don't want to date anyone for a long long time at this point I can't even fathom being in another relationship, just don't want to even think about it

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