Was I too lenient? Should I have not forgiven her?

So there's a bit of a back story, but I'll try to keep it short. Girlfriend goes away on a month long class trip, everyone get drunk at night, some guy makes a move on her (kisses her). She's too drunk to react properly (allegedly), tells me about it when she get back. I get pissed, but we work through it (we've been together for a year at this point). The guy that made a move on her is obviously interested in her, I tell her I feel uncomfortable with her talking to this guy and hanging out with him (I didn't flat out say she couldn't talk or hangout with this guy). So she texts him and hangs out with him once, I express my disdain in her doing this. The Girlfriend says o.k., that's fine, she won't talk to him anymore . Turn's out she goes behind my back and texts/Facebook messages him, but she lies to my face telling me that she has not been talking to him. All her lies are exposed when she tries to lie to me about not talking to him again, and I prove that she has. I say its alright and forgive her because I love her and nobody's perfect.

TL;DR Girlfriend lies about not talking to and hanging out with a guy that clearly is interested in her. I forgive her and let her off the hook.

Should I have not forgiven her so easily? Was I too lenient?

  • Was I too lenient
    Vote A
  • What I did was fine
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • You were too lenient, she cheated, then lied, to me that doesn't seem like an upward movement for a relationship. She's just going to abuse your forgiveness, either put your foot down or let her go.

    • Does that count as cheating though? He kissed her, not the other way around. Sure she didn't do anything about it, but it really wasn't her fault. (According to her story anyways).

    • Show All
    • No that's alright, I appreciate the honest answer. And that has crossed my mind, that more might have happened, I guess I'm choosing to believe her on that though, mostly because I'd be crushed if what you said was true :\

    • I understand, just remember, fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. I hope the best for you, but don't let love blind you alright, even if the truth ain't pretty, it's always better than an illusion.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • The first time was okay to let it go.

    Subsequent times proves she wasn't sincere or really apologetic. Let HER go.

  • Forgiveness is permission to do it again. If that were me I'd make her choose. if she hasn't had sex with him already she's thinking about it

  • You should have known that trying to control someone that completely, will make them do the opposite. It will drive them to go against your wishes and lie to you about it.


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