How can I get my boyfriend to make an effort with his appearance again?

We've been together for a year, and I've noticed and our friends have noticed that he's changed a lot since we've gotten together. They keep saying "What have you done to him?!" and "He's gotten a bit comfortable!" as they jokingly laugh about his appearance.

When we met he wasn't the best looking guy, but he was at least clean looking. He was clean shaven, styled his hair, was relatively slender but with big muscles.

NOW though, he barely ever shaves so always has thick stubble, his hair is messy; unstyled and way too long like he hasn't tended to it, and he's gained a significant amount of weight, so has a big belly and a bigger face etc.

I love him a lot, but if he keeps going like this, I'm not even sure I'll be attracted to him anymore. He's only 24, but looks like he's 50. He knows he's gained weight, and wants to lose it - but he won't do anything about his hair or his stubble and I just don't know how to tell him that I find it unattractive.

Any ideas?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is easy. He's grown complacent. He already has you and doesn't feel the need to impress you anymore. You need to bring that back. Now I would never go as far as to say you need to make him jealous or anything since I hate seeing women do the whole, "If I wanted I could do a lot better" routine, but you need to make him feel the need to keep up with you. Start dolling yourself up and going out with friends more. Start going to a gym without him. Get involved in some kind of function that requires you to dress up. Do these on your own, tell him you'd like it if he'd join you, but do them on your own if he doesn't.

    If he's smart he'll snap out of his lazy funk. If not he's to stupid to realize he's going to end up losing you to the next guy.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Ask his best guy friend to tell him to start hitting the gym. If he doesn't listen to him then hope is dwindling. Or you can suggest to exercise together. Or just leave a men's health on his desk. If he doesn't get the hint after all three, it's pretty hopeless.

  • Just tell him

    He needs to get his sh*t together

    If you're taking care of yourself so should he

  • You tell him, simple as that. Suggest that you even help him out, it can be fun.


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