Met a shy and insecure girl that just comes of a break up after 5 mon relationship. She now pushed me away..

I am 30 year old. I met a girl at work. pretty young. She is 24. Shy and insecure about herself. We started talking online for 2 or 3 hours day for about 3 weeks now.(before this we talked very little) She doesn't talk to many people at work. We get along quite well. During this process, I knew that she was in a relationship with another young immature guy who didn't treat her right. She broke it of about 11 days ago. They day she broke it off with boyfriend , she was extreme positive and happy. she even gave me her number.(which I never asked because she was dating). I know this is a jerk relation so she doesn't feel loney or abandoned after her such emotional break up. But this didn't last too long ( I should of known this was going to happen but my head was clouded) . She has been unresponsive for 2 days and today, she has finally hit that emotional wall and pushused me away by cancelling our plans for the weekeend. she said that wasn't a good idea. She also said that I shoudn't like her more than a friend. and it won't happen...etc' . I accepted her request . I tried to be cool about it. and told her that its OK. and that I will be there for her as a friend and contact me if she needed anything. I don't want to push things too hard on her but at the same time, I think I need to work around this wall and get her to trust me. she is emotional girl . I think she is afraid to get to know me and get hurt again. how should I approach this matter? although, she has emotional wall, I think she still be decently reponsive to me. Meaning that she will reply to txt. I won't send anything emotional for quite some time. Should I continue chatting with her ? or give her space and let her work out her emotional issues? I am not sure how to approach this girl right now. I feel like its best for me to be frank about it. tell her that I am much older than her ex and I don't play games and that she can trust me... This approach would work if she is in less emotional disarray but I just don't think this is the right time to say such things.

tl;dr meet a younger girl (24). 6 year apart. She just broke up with boyfriend about 2 weeks ago. We been talking to 3 weeks . She was good until she cancel our date . She is emotional right now. and and pushed me away after getting close to me.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If I were in your situation, and I really liked that girl, I'd keep talking to her, and don't be frank right away. You already are aware of how emotionally vulnerable she is because of the emotional brick wall she's put between you two. Talk as a friend, be a soundingboard; available for her rants and raves and spilling her guts about her day. The best way to let her know you are trustworthy is to actually be there for her, let her trust for you develop slowly over the course of a meaningful friendship. At best; you fall madly in love. At worst; you have a good friend.

    • thanks but this could be easier said then done. what if I am all wrong about this? what if I keep talking to her and she find another guy. I would be devastated. I am trying to figure her out but I am still not sure about how she feels. I know for a fact that she is afraid to get close to me for being hurt/insecurity... I am afraid I will spend all my energy on her and she will come back of being herself and forget about me... maybe I am the one that is confused... continued

    • At worst you will come out of this with a good friend. It is possible she is not interested at all, it is also possible that she is. If you truly love her, keep trying to be her good trustworthy friend and see if you can get close to her when she is less vulnerable. If you really don't "love" her and you just want to "get with her" then all the more reason to just be friends. Never hurt to have a good friend in the work place ^_^

What Guys Said 1

  • She means for the long term, given you work together, any relationship wouldn't be a good idea, so don't shower her with messages about how you'll be there and so forth. She doesn't want you to 'be there.' Just be a casual friend and don't expect anything else.

    Plus she's too young and immature for you in the first place, you make that clear yourself!

    • yeah I plan not to send her those messages anymore. But while we were talking, I knew she likes these types of uplifting messages. Her being insecure , I think I was a good moral support for her. I don't think she cares for the fact that why work together. I just think she is not emotionally ready for relationship. I want to keep it more then a casual friend by txting her and continuing with our friendship. what do you think?

    • Be really careful about too many messages; she could accuse you of stalking or something like that. And she's telling you that she doesn't want TOO MUCH attention. I still think it's partly because of the complications in a work situation..but regardless of her reasons, she's giving signals not to come too close!

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