Did I waste my time on him? Should I walk away?

I met this guy online in two and a half years ago. Since then we’ve been getting to know each other. This last year he told me he was in love with me. To be honest it feels like he holds my heart too.

During this whole time he talked about future plans with me. How we should meet and where we should go on vacation. What he wants to do when he retires and he always asks me if that is a life I would want. This spring he told me he wanted to spend the spring and summer sweeping me off my feet for good. I asked him what he meant by “for good”. He told me forever.

Sometimes I wondered if his mind was wondering what a life with me would be like. But the spring has passed and the summer is nearing it’s end and we still have not met in person. I was as patient with him as he was with me. Now I fear could he have played a mind game with me?

Throughout the time I’ve known him he’s made comments about me living closer and earlier this summer he asked me again to see if I could get transferred. I got a job offer three weeks ago. When I told him about it I thought he would be happy for us. I wanted the chance to see just how great things could be. That was the last time we spoke. Since then we've just left messages. It's been two weeks since I've heard from him. He missed my birthday; it was last week. I know his work keeps him busy and I know he doesn't like it when we go days without talking but I still gave him space. I left him another message last night asking if he was unhappy with me.

His silence is starting to make me feel like he doesn't even want to know me anymore. How much time should I give him before I try to confront him again about how he wants things to be? And if he still gives me the cold shoulder how much time should I continue to give him before I tell him farewell?

I don’t want to say goodbye to him but I could use some advice on how to move past this experience and want to meet someone new?

Lommelun I did find his behavior unusual but hard to know what really happened when he doesn't want to talk to me. The last time we spoke he told him things would get better very soon. The last time I gave him space he panicked wondering if something happened to me. I never did want him to feel that way again but I think some time is what he needs. I'll give him a week or two to think if he still wants me in his life. Do you think that's mean of me to do to him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It is possible that he is an evil mindf**ker who delight in making you miserable and spending two and a half year building up to this point is nothing to him, but highly unlikely. It is possible that he was playing a flirting game, and didn't realize you were serious. It is possible that he had an accident and is dead or injured in hospital. It is possible that he has dropped down into a deep depression and is sitting in his room looking into the wall because his pet died. Hard to tell without actually talking to him


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