What's the one thing you have learned from past relationships?

What's the one thing that really sticks out in your mind?

Maybe you learned something about yourself or something you want to avoid or something about people and life?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I learned a lot. At 21 this is the first relationship (my other boyfriends I was 18 or younger) where I learned the most and was mature enough to walk away with lessons despite us not being "official".

    My last relationship was casual but to me it counts, we went out together for a few months and talked all the time, kissed and held hands, acted coupley. It just was not exclusive.

    1) The biggest thing I learned is honest communication.

    I am the type who is not good at admitting my emotions and putting my feelings on the line, I often keep them bottled in, especially when I am in a period of uncertainty with a guy, not knowing how much he likes me back.

    In this relationship it hurt me a lot. Saying how I feel especially telling a guy how much I like him is scary to me if I am insecure he does not feel the same. In this case I held it all in and sacrified my emotional needs because I liked him too much to lose him. In many ways. When it came to our intentions in the relationship is the biggest one, or talking about other problems.

    2) I also learned to put myself first when it comes to being treated right.

    I didn't stand up for myself enough and he would put me down or disrespect me and I let him. He was a little intimidating. He made me feel like I am a dumb submissive object and I am really not that person.

    3) Do not overlook "bad signs" or "bad gut feelings", or a general lack of trust.

    I have a pretty strong instinct and I caught him in a few lies and things he was very secretive about. Sometimes I just got this sense that something was wrong and I felt that I couldn't really trust him. I overlooked it for a while because I really liked him and the attraction and excitement level was so high but in the end it just built up to the point that I freaked out and had to walk away. I just felt unsafe. If there are red flags or you get a sense that something about the person is wrong, don't ignore it! There could even be potential danger lurking, you never know.

    4) If you feel you have to hide the relationship/this person or none of your parents and or friends would approve it is for a reason!

    Some people have high standards but as one of my friends said if you are slightly ashamed or feel you do not want people to know about the person or meet him there is a reason, if you have to hide him...well that's a problem, you should want people to meet him and know about him.

    5) You should become part of each others' lives..if it's been a few months and you haven't met anyone AND seen his place it's a problem, there's someone else or he's embarrassed by you/only wants sex

    6) One lie about himself unfolds many others, especially early on

    If you catch him in a lie about himself early on, before he even knows you (unless it is something really tiny), especially if he lied very smoothly, there is probably a lot more he is hiding.

    7) Red flag. you know he has Facebook and makes up some excuse why he can't add you, big problem.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I learned that I lose myself for the other person too easily, and that I need to focus on myself, develop a stronger personality, and establish my own style before next time.

  • I tend to get too attached. I am way too nice. That is usually when they lose interest. I don't know I'm not the biggest push over I swear, just like to make my girl happy. I guess I should focus more on myself.

  • Never rush.


What Girls Said 3

  • Ive learned a lot, some important ones are...not to settle and to understand my worth. I learned when to forgive and when to let go. I learned that I need to be me first and his girlfriend second because I also lose myself in relationships and mold my personality to fit there's. I need to develop a stronger sense of self. I need to stop expecting them to be everything I need, I have so many expectations of what I hope they will be and I'm let down when it doesn't happen.

  • I have learnt that I put my whole self into my relationship. I give my partner all I have to give and more and that it's no wonder that I often feel betrayed by them or their trust. I give them everything so I expect the same in return.

    I have also learnt that even the person you love and therefore should trust the most could and probably will do something to hurt you. In my case it was sleeping with another girl. And that I now more than ever have problems letting guys past my wall as a result.

    I hope that one day I will find the right guy who makes me feel as amazing as some of my friend's relationships!

    • I'm hearing that ! I'm kinda jealous of my friends and their great relationships at the moment lol cause I just got my heart broken.

      Thanks for sharing :)

  • It's not as important as it seems. It's not the biggest thing in life, no where close.


Recommended myTakes