Canceling for good reasons?

My boyfriend if 1.5 months is canceling on seeing me a lot. However, it has been because his Ex-Wife can't seem to find a Babysitter. He and I have been CLOSE friends for 9 months before we got together so I do know that she can take advantage of him and do things like this. He reschedules ever time and ever time he sound mad and says, "But I want to be with you" or when I express that it is what it is and am understanding or for example "There's nothing to be mad at Tom you have to do what you need to do" He will express that he is frustrated.

He is also a lighting technician. On Saturday, I rearranged everything I had planned for the weekend because he was "able to find some time" and "could I please just his once" but then he didn't get off of work until 3am. He couldn't come yesterday because after he got home, his ex called and he had to go watch the kids again meaning he didn't get to sleep until 3 pm.

So all of these are viable understandable reasons... However, my friends are all saying I need to put my foot down and tell him he ha to make time etc... I don't think I should I think that would be rather assholish of me esp since I am a single parent and I would do the same.. However, I do know the if he wants to be with you he will find a way to be with you adage, so I don't know what to think.

He calls every day. He calls every night to say good night and again we were really close friends so I know that isn't typical behavior for him. In that way he is making me special. I don't know what to think here. Is he pulling away.. Is it just life.. Are my friends right...? He has expressed he needs to rearrange things to and was all kinds of mad Friday when I said, "Well we will just have to see each other next week because we both have plans for this weekend. You have to work and I am going out of town." He said, 'Don't do that!"

I said , "What? Tom, what do you want me not to do?"

he replied, "Say we won't find a way."

But I was right and we didn't.. So... What do I do with this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume it is his kids.

    Then they take presedence over you.

    The ex wife is probably squeezing him, but his kids are more valuable to him than anything else.

    But he should allow you to have other plans than him too. He is a bit demanding, given that he is so preoccupied with all these other things.


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  • If that's how things left off, then it doesn't seem like you're intent on trying still...


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