I just want a balanced relationship that doesn't over do anything. What does this mean??

"and I just want a balanced relationship that doesn't over do anything, the relationship should be part of our lives but it shouldn't rule our lives"
So we are now dating. Pretty enthused, and I think I can live with his opinions. It'll work itself out in the long run.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As a married man, I can say that a relationship pretty much rules your life. Actually, it doesn't until it stops working and believe me, her attempts to make me acutely aware that it isn't might just as well fill up my whole life until I deal with it. Don't worry, I do the same :)

    So whoever said the sentence in your question wants to pretty much cheat fate and somehow be the exception. Well, there is only one way to do that, but its not really through a 'relationship', since Its impossible to keep a relationship low-key if it keeps functioning -- they just keep growing infinitely (but asymtotically) or until they break.

    Being an FWB on the other hand... well, that is possible because the 'relationship' component is removed altogether. I don't really encourage people to do FWBs...


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What Guys Said 3

  • In other words, he/she wants to be with you, but also wants some freedom to do whatever he/she wants to do. Doesnt want the relationship to be all he/she does

  • Sounds healthy. Probably has some bad experience with previous clingy GF.

    • Clingy is a garbage term for psychopaths.. Rational people respectfully discuss problems. iI the behavior continues, they break up. They stay whine and form prejudice towards everyone with the same genitals

      theres complaining.

      theres actually doing something about it.

      there's complaining about something & not doing anything about it, because you want something to complain about and or because you _like_ it.

      accusations of clinginess, in a relationship, falls into the 3rd category. obviously.

    • No, that is way to simplistic. Some people are just clingy, without being psychopaths. My youngest sister for example simplay can't let her BF's breathe. When goes into a relationship she do that with everything she has. She moves in on his couch and cease all contact with the family and other friends. She is simply so crushing on the poor guy that he can't change underwear without her being there. Eventually they fight over it and she moves out and back to her appartment.

  • Means he wants to take things slow, not be overwhelmed by each other.


What Girls Said 2

  • it means he already has a negative view of you/ Women. he is starting off expecting you to behave poorly/ be clingy (in his opinion.)

    he will continue to be vague & uninformative, contradictory & hypocritical. any time there's a problem, & you try to resolve the problem, or ask a question, he will accuse you of being clingy, or dramatic. .

    youre off to a great start as you're not even comfortable asking him. & he saw no need to explain himself.

    if he doesn't define, what over doing it means. it means, the meaning, is left to his discretion at any moment of the week. imo, people who see communication as overdoing it, are not relationship worthy.

    i don't think he's capable of respecting a relationship.

    but if you guys get together, let us know how it goes.

  • I think... it means that you shouldn't let your world revolve around him.. be able to maintain spaces that would be healthy for your relationship.. No to bragging, or being clingy or being overcontrolling.. :) Letting him grow while in a relationship.. :D


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