She likes me but doesn't want a relationship and I have a crush on her and can't get over it.


Here's some back story:

So I met this girl about a month ago over my friends (they are family friends with her). She contacted me and said she really likes me and that she had a crush on me around 5 years ago (I can't really recall that we met before but apparently we had). So we started texting each other and I started to like her.

The friends that we met over had few parties in a week and we mostly hang together. We also made out and were not far away from doing it. Still no problems, she even said she was into me.

The next few days I was asking her is she wanted to go for a simple date but she never had the time or something came up.

Some day later that week she texted me that she's not sure if she wants anything serious at that moment but that she really likes me. But then I somehow changed her mind and she even agreed on a date. Next day she called rain check on this date (they apparently had guests at their home).

Then few days later I got another text saying that it's better if we just stay friends. I asked what's the problem and she replied that she doesn't want to rush it with relationships (like before). I then didn't want to bug her anymore and agreed to it.

It has been around 2 weeks from then and I still have a crush on her. I think it would have already passed but the problem is that we see each other every day since she now always hanging with our gang of friends (the same ones we met over).

And this is bugging me now and I need some advice.

Should I stop hanging with those friends for a some time. (which would probably look weird since we've been hanging out for years)

I was also thinking about texting her and explain the situation and ask what the deal was or tell her to tell me to f*** off or something. So I get some closure.

Big thanks to those who'll take time to read this and give advice. Much appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She is obviously interested but maybe she is just scared? I think you should accept that she is scared and respect her space. Still keep hanging out, and keep doing what you were doing with all your friends. I think that you need to stop giving her kisses etc, until she decides on what she wants. Tell her what you would like and that you like her too much to be able to just have fun with her. If she isn't wanting anything serious, that's fine, but you need to want the same thing for your relationship to work, and for you both to be equally happy. Have you asked her to be in a relationship with you? So what I mean is, not dates, but a relationship?

    • Currently we're "just friends", we don't make out or anything. We're just acting as nothing happened though it's hard for me to look in her eyes and I think it goes the same for her.

      Also I didn't ask her for a relationship but it was obvious that it was going somewhere, that's why she said she doesn't want anything.

    • Show All
    • Well to be honest you leaded me to the right path and expressing my feelings was the right thing. If I wouldn't, I would still be in the dark and wouldn't know what is she really thinking.

      It will be even easier for me to move on. I'll probably see her sooner or later and I don't think it will still be that much of a problem. I'll try to stay back a bit but I think I'll be okay.

      Thanks, again for reading and helping me with all this.

    • Don't ever feel like you exposed your cards too much either, because she did it too. Having feelings for someone is not embarrassing. Good work on telling her how you feel. It's a mature way of going about things. Maybe just next time, try to tell the girl in person, if you are comfortable with it of course :). It's so much easier when you know nothing can ever happen, and that it's time to move on. Whatever you do, act cool around, so that she thinks you weren't effected. Very welcome!

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