I asked a girl out but she turned me down for being too straightforward!

Hi guys. I'm a man. I saw this nice girl at the gym, I smiled at her and she smiled back. It so happened we left the gym at the same time and I said hello and we got talking. I made her laugh and she was asking me questions about what I do etc and we hit off really good so I got the feeling she was interested and she was - I knew it but I blew it?

I asked her if she was single? she kind of blushed, then I asked married? she kind of blushed and didn't answer. Then I asked her out and she turned me down for being too straight forward.

She said "your too straight forward" I said, I speak my mind - if I like someone I let them know that's just how I am. She replied I'm sorry but your too straightforward " She said see you around and we parted.

I'm really disappointed. She was French and said she's not used to guys being like this?

I really like her - what should I do? forget about her or if I see her again go and speak? What should I say? I can't believe she can be so shallow? its not like I said I want marry her or something?

Any advice appreciated.



Most Helpful Guy

  • She lied. She just wasn't interested in you enough...and when you asked if she was single,or married...you turned her off. Now had her interest level in you been high enough...what you said wouldn't have been a deal killer anyway. You did good until you asked about her relationship status. You didn't need to ask her that...and it wasn't any of your business. All you had to do is say," Hey, its been really nice talking with you, by the way, what's your phone number?" Then if she wasn't interested, or was in a relationship, then she would have told you then. Asking the questions you did could have made you seem weak...like you wanted to make sure it was safe before you asked for her number. This is an easy fix man...good luck in the future.

    • Noted. Understood.

      You hit the nail on the head. I got the feeling she was turned off when I asked her about her relationship status but I didn't realize she would blow me off for it as I've asked that question to a women before and been successful. I won't ask that again and keep it more subtle like you have kindly suggested. I gather she has plenty of choices even tho she is a bit overweight. Can you advise me anything to say to her if I should bump into her again? Thanks for the great advise.

    • I can't think of anything specifically to say to her. Don't apologize! I would just be friendly as you were before...smile...make small talk if she'll talk...etc.

    • You're welcome...

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should just let things go. There are other fish in the sea. I don't think you were being to straight forward. It sounds like you were just being friendly.

    • Hey. Yeah I let things go straight away. Thanks for the advise. Funny thing is I met a stunning lady yesterday at the gym again and she was extremely down to earth and friendly. I got her number and we are going to meet up over the weekend.

  • I don't know maybe the French have different dating norms. Still speak to her just don't ask her out any more.

    • Okay. I think she's looking for some kind of price charming to come and sweep her off her feet. Thanks for replying.

What Guys Said 4

  • Weird...but anyway, just never mind it. Keep talking to her and maybe she'll change her mind, who knows. You did what you had to do, so you didn't "blow" anything. ( no pun intended ). It's all her.

  • Oh hell..she probably isn't any weirder than any of the rest of us..agree with your other answers on here though..be nice and do not ask her out again...if she wants to go out with you it is up to her to let you know that...(:(:(:

    • No chance. I won't ask her out again. Its her loss. On to the next one!

      Thanks for replying and the advise.

  • She turned you down because she doesn't want to go out with you, girls actually like straightforward guys, she just chose very bad excuse, even worse than "I don't know" or "I'm taken"

    • Yes mate, she did turn me down. Like a lot of cold, shallow, superficial women out there who judge guys on every silly detail. I don't know why these average looking women act like princess's. I guess even a slightly overweight girl has plenty of choices like herself. I'll keep on trying.

      Thank you for the advise. Appreciate it.

  • Pr3ttybrown is right on. It's customary for the French to get to know each other slowly when it pertains to dating, and as result straightforwardness is labeled a red flag. French women expect the subtle approach from guys, so keep in mind when you talk to her again that it's going to be a five mile race as opposed to a 100 meter dash.

    • Thanks mate. Not too sure about that as I've seen French chicks hitting on good looking guys & not holding back etc. Having said that I will keep the five mile thing in mind as it pertains for average looking guys like myself. I honestly now feel and like the guys below have pointed out. I wasn't attractive enough for her &she didn't want to waste any time to give me a second chance. Had I been extremely good looking,i doubt she would have reacted the same way. Thank you for the advise.

    • Of course there will always be exceptions to the rule, and good looks or riches are usually the culprits.

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