Was I using him? Was I experimenting with him?

I went on my first date ever on Monday night. We ended up making out for 4 hours. We met online and started talking last Tuesday. On Saturday he told me 'I love you, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, I wanna marry you', and in the heat of the moment I said the same things. After our date on Monday, I realized I didn't feel the same way about him. So I decided today (Wednesday) to break up with him, and tell him I didn't feel the same way about him. He told me I used him as an experiment. I wasn't trying to, I genuinely thought I had feelings for him, but after I started thinking about it I realized I was trying to force the attraction. I told him he deserved someone better, someone who wouldn't have second thoughts about loving him. I feel absolutely terrible for letting things get out of hand like this. I myself have been used so many times before, and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I used him and strung him along. How did he know he 'loved/loves' me? Was I using him? Was I experimenting with him? I just had this uneasy feeling about the whole thing, since Saturday when he said he loved me. I feel so broken, and terrible for hurting him, it was never my intention to hurt him. :'(


Most Helpful Guy

  • He didn't know what he was saying when he said he loved you. It's not possible. He barely knows you. If he said "you make me hard" that would be believable. He's just confusing lust with love.

    Don't worry about it. Just chalk it up to experience and move on. He'll be fine. He's probably trolling for other women online right now.

    • the "you make me hard" bit made me giggle ha ha but ill try not to worry tho thank you

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What Guys Said 2

  • He probably didn't love you but thought he did, probably because he hasn't had a date or gotten laid in a long while. Once you came along and sparked a little attraction, he hung unto it for fear of being alone again and decided that he was in love. You didn't do anything wrong apart from repeating those words that you shouldn't even think of saying in just one week.

    • i know I shouldn't have said those words, even with guys that I'm attracted to and have crushes on I've never said that to them and I've known them for years. I know it was a mistake and I shouldn't have said them. when I called he was literally sobbing, and it just made it hurt worse ya know?

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    • Exactly, instead of trying to make him feel like a player. At least now you know you were not at fault.


    • cheers! :)

  • You were slightly more mature than him, that's all.

    You don't think his emotions were any more real than yours, do you? Talk about marriage, what a joke.

    You just had the good sense to realize it was all bullsh*t once you calmed down. He didn't.

    Don't worry about it. This is typical teen behavior , especially for first dates.

    • the bad thing is that I'm 20, and he is gonna be 27 in November! honestly I think he is way more desperate to be in a relationship than I am ya know? I would like to be in a relationship, but I'm not willing to be in one where I'm not sure about my feelings from the start. that's not fair to him for me to do that.

What Girls Said 2

  • He didn't love you.

    He wanted to...

    He said he did..

    But this love of his...

    Was nothing but a fantasy..

    All to often in this life..

    In this day and age..

    That is all the love one will find..

    The love longed for..

    The love hoped for..

    The love made up in your head...

    And pressed upon others...

    • wow! that is really good! I've never heard it put like that before

  • you just met him he's the psycho honestly for telling you that so fast.


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