Are we now together or does it mean we're still "hanging out" and it could turn into a relationship?

I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. We hang out with other friends,he's met some of my fam and I've met some of his. Nothing formal just if they happen to be around his mom doesn't drive so if he's working and I'm not he asks me to take her to appointments or pick her up/ take her to work etc. Yes we have been sleeping together. I have slept at his house, where his mom also lives several times. He never says we are in a relationship tells people we just hang out. Another guy asked me out so I asked the "hang out" guy what we are doing. He said he likes spending time with me there's no one else and he wants to see where it goes. I then told him I asked because someone had asked me out so I needed to know where we stand.

My question is what does him wanting to see where it goes mean? Are we now together or does it mean we're still "hanging out" and it could turn into a relationship?

I hate having "the talk" as much as most guys but I don't want to get invested if its always going to be just hanging out.

Thanks for any feed back


Most Helpful Girl

  • You guys are in a casual sexual deal and it stands as much of a chance of going nowhere than turning into something serious. In fact, the odds are that it will drag on in this state without a commitment for a long time, leaving you confused.

    So, if all this is right now is a hang out deal, he should not be asking you to run errands for him and the fact that you are is confusing the whole situation. If you want to see if a guy is serious about you, you have to take steps in a certain order:

    1. Date. Don't just hang out casually. A guy who is really interested in you will ask you out for dates and take you out. He will be looking forward to seeing you and enjoy dating you. A guy who is lukewarm and any old girl will do, well that is the guy who just wants hang outs.

    2. Get to know him, make sure he is someone you should get emotionally involved with. It is easier to recognize a deal breaker and walk away before you fall in love than after. See how he continues to treat you. See how you continue to feel about him.

    3. Let him know on the 1st or 2nd date that you don't believe in casual sex and that you believe in being in a committed relationship before you have sex. Don't make a big deal out of this. Say it and let it go. Then stick by your words. Any guy who is really interested in you and continues to want more with you than just sex, he won't be bothered by this, in fact, he will be impressed and your Girlfriend status will go up. Any guy who just wants sex will be bothered by this and will stop dating you pretty quickly as long as you don't slip up.

    4. The point will come that he will ask you to be his girlfriend, you won't have to have "the talk", you will constantly hear him say you are his girlfriend and then all the rest of the fun begins.

    So, you are not together with this guy. He is enjoying sex and having an errand girl. If you want a relationship and are not going to be happy being his hang out girl, you need to make a move now to see where his head is at. Let him know that you thought he was more into you than it sounds like he is and you think this because you two are having sex and he asks you for help. Tell him that if he really sees this as more of a casual hang out deal, that you are not comfortable with that and should move on. Then let it go and see what happens. He is getting a sweet deal with you now and thinks that you are enjoying the way it is as much as he is until you set him straight. Good luck!


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What Guys Said 1

  • He sounds like he isn't sure either. What surprises me, is that you have been with him for just a short time and you're taking his mom to appointments and to work. What's that all about? I sure wouldn't do it. He's getting sex from you, and you're running his errands, and you've only been together around six weeks. Sounds like he's got it pretty good. Why would he want to put a label on the relationship? You're not real a couple, and you do all of this stuff for him.

    Stop having sex with him, stop doing his errands. If you like hanging out with him, do just that. Then see where the relationship goes. My guess is, he'll lose interest in a couple of weeks or less.

    Bottom line, go on the date with the other guy.

    • I don't mind runing his mom,I'd do it for any of my friends.The only thing I've complained about was that he would go days without talking to me.I told him I have other guys that want to talk to me if he doesn't have the time and he's corected that.We work at the same place usually dif. shifts and one of his best friends work with us,the other day a girl at work was talking about him, his friend told her to watch her mouth because I was his gf.I'm guesing he has said something to his friend because I havent

    • Maybe he did say you were his girlfriend to someone. Still doesn't change the fact that he seems to be using you. Do you want/need to be his girlfriend that badly? Still think you should go on a date with the other guy.

    • No I don't need to be his Girlfriend that badly. I did go out with the other guy. It was nice and we are also still talking actualy more then I talk to the first guy lol. Thanks

What Girls Said 1

  • You are puck buddies. See where it goes means "how many more bjs can I get out of this one"


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