How do I choose when I know it means losing one?

I'm torn completely. I've been involved with a guy for a few months. its been hard for us to get together lately, we have conflicting schedules. plus he's been under a lot of stress with work and his ex-wife and kids. now, my best friend has made it clear that he's interested in me.

both are almost exactly what I want.

both are sweet, considerate, fun, and encouraging.

my friend wants the same things I do. family (later on down the road). we have a million things in common, I trust him completely.

the guy I've been seeing is divorced. doesn't want anymore children. we have a lot in common, and have a fantastic time together.

but I know myself well enough to know I need someone who challenges me. prompts me to be better, do better. and that isn't my friend. its not his personality.

I tend to be submissive. the guy I've been seeing is definitely a dominate personality. my friend is more passive. not really either. he'll encourage me, but he wouldn't challenge me.

I really care about both of them. and I know I can't have both. if I choose the guy I've been seeing I loose my best friend. maybe not completely, but there's no way we'd continue as before. If I choose my best friend, I may still loose him, and I definitely loose a guy whose been nothing but a positive influence in my life. hell, his challenging and prompting got me back in college.

how do I decide?


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  • I'd go with the best friend the other one has too many issues


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