I still want him in my life, he just makes things complicated on my part because I still have feelings for him.

For the past few weeks I've been really homesick and having a hard time adjusting back to college life. I was hesitant about coming back again this year but I mad the decision to anyway. Well, about a week ago I decided to text this guy that I've had feelings for for almost a year now. He had feelings for me as well for a while and a part of me feels like he still does but there were just a lot of things that changed between us. Before I left to go back home last year for the summer I made the decision that I was going to try my best to ignore these feelings I had for him because they were irrelevant now. Well about a month went by and I didn't talk to him at all but I did however think about him everyday. Then, one day he texted me and it was the worst thing ever because all of these feelings that I had came flooding back and even grew because of some of the stuff we talked about. Well, when we got back to school we decided to hang out and just catch up. That was a huge mistake because I realized I wasn't over this at all. So one day last week I texted him and told him that I didn't think we should talk for a while because I still don't understand any of this and I don't want it all to bother me like it did last year. So, he never said anything back to me which is strange because he usually always has something to say. And then I texted him last night because the past few times I'd seen him he looked upset and I just wanted to make sure he was okay and all he said back pretty much was "im fine haha." I just really feel like I messed things up for good. I don't want things to end like this, I just thought it would be best for the two of us to not hang out and talk for a little bit that way I can focus on school. I don't know what to do because I didn't mean for him to take it as us never talking again. I still want him in my life, he just makes things complicated on my part because I still have feelings for him.

What should I do?


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  • I'm unsure how he's making things complicated...you have feelings for him, and you said you think he has feelings for you. You're the one making things complicated by texting him to "see if he's ok" then saying you "shouldn't talk for awhile." You can focus on school AND other things.

    When you brushed him off and said you didn't want to talk for awhile, of course he's not going to respond. You're expecting him to text you and dote on you what's wrong, but you're the one who brushed him off.

    • He makes things complicated because he won't come out and tell me how he feels now. A small part of me thinks he still has feelings for me because of certain things that he says and does but I could also be completely wrong. And OK, I completely agree with you. It is me that complicated things. But how am I suppose to fix them now? Should I let it go for a week or so and then apologize to him or what? Thanks

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    • Alright. I'm really glad you pointed out that it's basically all my fault because when I think about it, I usually am always the one to mess things up because I want things to be a certain way like right away. Thanks for your help though!

    • You're welcome! Sometimes we all have a way of sabotaging things for ourselves, even without realizing it. A defense mechanism, I suppose. It'll turn out alright, though : )

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