She has been kind of distant lately though, and I know it cause she is getting scared. I really haven't been doing anything besides some small special gestures here and there. But now she acts different around me when there are people around and our text conversations don't go anywhere. She makes it so hard for us to enjoy ourselves and I'm terribly afraid that I will lose her. Because of that I haven't been texting her all that much. And she hasn't initiated text with me in a while.
It's extremely frustrating because I know that I'm not doing anything wrong, and it is her behavior that is getting between us making any progress, because she is afraid. And frankly, I'm tired. I've one through a lot of emotional stress with this girl. Even when were just friends there was a lot of confusing tension between us. I really want to stop caring for my own health.
I'm crazy about her, and I if could eventually be with her I would be the happiest that I've ever been. every time we just chill by ourselves, though this is extremely rare, those are the happiest moments for me. And I think that is the problem. I don't act clingy or anything like that, I just act normal. But I think that if I could find a way to stop caring then maybe that will allow her to drop her defenses and I can start to care again once she comes around. And if she doesn't then I will at least be less devastated.
How can I stop caring? Please, I need practical advice, if any of you have done so or know a what things can be done to help with stopping to care.
The biggest difficulty around this is that I see her twice a week at school, given that we don't do anything over the weekend, and I know seeing her even for a instant will make this much harder to do.