Forgive a first offense?

The guy I've been talking to was supposed to come to dinner tonight with some friends and I. Last night we (me and him) were talking about how great it's going to be. Well he never showed up, I called because I figured he was stuck at work, his phone went straight to VM, I notice that sometimes his phone dies at work. So I wasn't able to get in contact with him. There have been a lot of things going on with him these past few weeks, his money was stolen, family member passed and someone was in the ER on Wednesday.

He hasn't flaked on me before, and he's been pretty truthful about a lot of stuff. We've been talking for a month.

I'm thinking that maybe something happened with family...I'm not sure I should give him the benefit of the doubt or not...he has showed me that he really likes me, and he's told me...

Not sure what to do with's my first time being so involved with a person.

He's already made plans to come see me in a few weeks, and talked about what we'd do, and he's also taken the time off from work...


Just want to thank you guys for the input, the guy contacted me and gave me an update on his situation. Everything is good now :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Typically, when a girl does this, smart guys will say, one strike and you're out.

    So if he wants to make new plans, let him, but plan something else that will be fun. If he follows through, win. If he doesn't, don't bother calling and just do your fun thing.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Since this is the first time, yes. But it sounds like a lot of VERY bad things all happening at once. Either he is the unluckiest guy on the planet this week (in which case you should stay away from him or something could happen to you just by being around him); or he is seeing someone else, and he is telling you that horrible things are happening to him so you won't question him too hard.

    I think it may be the second one.

    • But the thing is, other people at work know about his situations...what would be the point in lying to everyone...?

  • To err is human; to forgive is divine.

    Sounds like he's got a lot of things on his mind right know. He probably needs someone understanding and forgiving right now. I would give him benefit of the doubt and at least let him explain the situation.


What Girls Said 2

  • So he stands you up. Then he tells you his money was stolen, a family member died, and now someone else is in the emergency room and you believe him? He must be a really good liar! Those are all common lines that someone will use to get out of an engagement they don't want to be in. He's playing you. If you have nothing better to do, I'd go but I would NOT expect anything from this guy. Just let him be that guy you go out with when you have nothing else going on and don't expect anything more from him. He's already shown he's flaky and a liar.

    • all that stuff happened before the dinner (Within the last week), and everyone else knows about the death and the stolen money

    • Some pretty terrible advice right here. "Assume the worst because its probably true"

  • Forgive.


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