Star-crossed lovers...your interpretation?

I met a guy through friends in the summer of 2010; he was very interested in me but the feeling wasn't mutual. After I broke up with my ex in the fall of 2011, a mutual friend of this first guy's and mine let him know I was single, so he messaged me on Facebook and we made small-talk. He lived an hour and a half away but was passing through my town one day and asked me to coffee. We hit it off right away and started talking on the phone regularly for 2-4 hours. He and I started to take turns driving to each others' cities once a month to see each other. We had an absolute ball together--our minds and pheromones aligned so well--and even thought he's the most logical guy (and Spock-like when it came to emotions), it was literally a romance you'd read about in a corny novel. He regularly told me how much he liked me ("I really really really really really like you. Gosh I like you. As beautiful as you are, and let me tell you--you're absolutely beautiful--as beautiful as you are, that's not your best quality. It's your're smart and quick-witted and I love the way your mind works. I love that you're a feminist, I love that you're atheist, I love that you're in touch with your emotions...", etcetera). He said this so often. The weekends we could spend together, we were in bed a lot of the time (and it was so good, let me tell you), out to adventure some of the time, and sitting on his couch watching documentaries on the cosmos, laughing, talking, drinking, and kissing. It was unreal and so wonderful. He told me he dreamt of me every night, that I was always in the background of whatever was going on during the dream. He always texted me goodnight--"Goodnight, beautiful." and "Sweet dreams. I hope to see you in mine." We became exclusive. One night he called and told me his company restructured and since he was the youngest, he got the shaft and was laid off. I knew he wanted to move to Minneapolis; he started applying for jobs like it was...well, his job. He started to pull back emotionally because he was so stressed, and although it was difficult, I was supportive and understanding. We had decided to try long distance, but one day before he was supposed to come stay with me for the weekend (a week before he moved to his new city) he called and reluctantly hinted at a breakup. I told him I was hurt, heartbroken,that I'd fallen in love with him, and that that's why we couldn't be friends. We didn't speak for 3 months and still I thought about him. I sent him a Facebook message and he responded well--he reported that he thought of me often. He suggested catching up over coffee if I was ever in his city, and it just so happens that I was going there the following weekend to stay with some friends. The morning we were supposed to meet, he texted to cancel for a stupid reason. I was so hurt that I texted him, "Wow. How cowardly of you. I won't be contacting you again." Another month went by and we didn't talk; I decided (continues in comments)..
to message him once more, so I wrote a short, eloquent, non-accusatory letter explaining that I never explained my hurt and that I hoped to be friends. He responded within two days: he said he cancelled because he thought I wanted to "take a piece out of him" one last time and that he wouldn't normally care if a girl did that but that there's mutual respect and attraction in this case, that he still feels guilty about how he hurt me, that it wasn't easy for him either, that he (continuing)...
...thinks of me frequently, that I still have a direct line to his emotions, that even after 4 months of living there that he hadn't yet flirted with a girl, and that he doesn't hold out hope for us but that he, of course, wants to be friends. I'm so in love with this man, and I'm almost positive he's in love with me and too scared to admit it to himself--he's not an emotional person. Guys, what's your take on this entire situation?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Anton has a point, at least make paragraphs ^^.

    Anyways, I think you may be right or he's straight up stringing you along and keeping you as a backup option. It really just boils down to what type of person you think he is.

    • I'm a grammar freak, so I normally wouldn't dare not creating paragraphs. I felt there might not have been enough room, but the suggestion is most definitely noted for next time.

      He's an incredibly genuine person--he'd never string someone alone for his own benefit. That being said, do you think there's an alternative explanation?

    • I thought about it and I'm really not coming up with anything other than those two. And you're telling me he's super honest so that rules one of the two out. I pretty much think you're right.

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