Instant chemistry, distance, then over. WTF?

Started seeing this girl and from the first date we kissed and paid very little attention to the movie. We spent many hours just kissing, hands all over each other on our dates, got along great, and eventually began sleeping together. We started to become real close (seeing each other 3-4 times a week sometimes). She would sometimes bring up talk where I saw things going between us, and I was honest that I was crazy about her and did see us dating when the time was right. She agreed the timing wasn't right because we both had gotten out of long relationships and some other things that go along with that. She was definitely bothered to some degree by my loose ends that still had to be tied up with my ex and stuff.

We saw each other for about 4 months. Then we couldn't see each other for 3-4 weeks. When I asked if she wanted to hang out again she always said that she definitely wanted to, but then blew me off a couple times by never getting back to me if she was going to be free or by saying she had a class to go to. Basically stopped making time for me. She still flirted with me through text message and after I tried asking her out 3 times, I called her up and just asked her if she wasn't into me and didn't want to see me again that I just wanted to know. She said she was really into me, she wasn't ready for anything serious, told me that there was nobody else, and she was really scared. I was insulted about being avoided and I'm sure it showed and I wasn't going to chase someone who did that regardless of how much I was into them.

I was really crazy about the girl and realize how hard it is for me to meet someone I look at the way I looked at her. I meet girls at the bar and stuff, get their numbers, but I just don't have that interest/attraction to them the way I did for her.

It's been over 4 months, she used to text me like once a week asking how I was doing and we'd text back and forth a little. Then more recently I started to text her more and then I tried calling her a few weeks back, she didn't answer, but texted me back saying she "thought I called, that she was watching a movie, and asked what's up?" I told her I did call, and then just made small talk to avoid saying why I called (to see if she might want to go out for a coffee sometime maybe). We havn't texted each other since.

How stupid am I for even trying again? I'm assuming that me calling her freaked her out, and I need to get it through my head that I clearly was into it more than she was.

I really wish I would she would have just told me that she wasn't into me or that she just sees me as a friend or something like that. The way it ended I guess part of me just wants to hold on.

Straight up, what does it mean when a girl says:

-She WAS really into you

-She is not ready for something serious

-Was scared of how close we were getting,

-Tells me that there's nobody else

-Asks if it's OK if we still text

Girls, could you please translate this?
Why the heck would you try and hold on to him if you didn't care for him that much anymore?
She asked me if I was going to some event in the summer and told me to text her if I went. Clearly just an attempt for attention. Amazing how someone can be so fake throughout, bringing up committment stuff just to hear you say how much you like them? Messed up.


Most Helpful Girl

  • -When she says she WAS interested in you, it means she no longer is.

    -When she says she is not ready for something serious, that's a lie. She just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

    -When she says she was scared of how close you were getting, she was (probably) digging for you to tell her how much you love her and how your guys' relationship would not be like her previous long term one, etc.

    -When she tells you that there's nobody else, she's trying not to lose you. (she might be enjoying the fact that you like her.)

    -When she asks about the texting... its because you texting her reassures her you still like her.

    When I give guys this chiz, it means I like that the guy likes me, so I try to hold on to him by saying stuff like "we can still text," and "there is no one else," but I don't really care for him that much any more... She's just going to hurt you.

    • Thanks for being straight up. I guess I just had a hard time believing that anyone could be that fake. Guess the best is just to ignore her completely.

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