Can women be responsible for men's misogynistic view of dating?

Norah Vincent wrote a book called "Self Made Man". The gist of the experience is that she is a woman that spent a year dressed in drag infiltrating male culture.

Here is synopsis:


What I found intriguing is that there is a section on dating and it is very revealing. Here is a page dedicated to some of the insights she has throughout.

You can read some of the excerpts here:


Great quote from her:

"Dating women as a man was a lesson in female power, and it made me, of all things, into a momentary misogynist… I disliked their superiority, their accusatory smiles, their entitlement to choose or dash me with a finger-tip, an execution so lazy, so effortless, it made the defeats and even the successes unbearably humiliating. Typical male power feels by comparison like a blunt instrument, its salvos and field strategies laughably remedial next to the damage a woman can do with a single cutting word: no.

I saw how rejection might get twisted beyond recognition in the mind of a discarded male where misogyny and ultimately rape may be a vicious attempt to take what cannot be taken because it has not been bestowed. Sometimes women seem so superior when you see them through the eyes of an ordinary man that now, looking back on that feeling as a female, the very idea of [heterosexual sex], suddenly seems as absurdly out of scale and ineffectual as a pygmy poking his finger at the moon.

…we women have far more power than we know, and because of it, even with our fears, our parries and our wits about us, we are in even more danger than we know or dare contemplate."

I thought it was very interesting to hear her take after experiencing dating from both a male and female point of view. I think often times it is possible for women to empathize with men's dating struggles because they just can't wrap their mind around it. I think women should take an extra minute before they dismiss a guy's views as misogynistic or sexist because it is just so hard to understand.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, but that woman disguised as a man, never had a male role model teach her how to be a man, and how to date women.

    She approached other women, as a woman. Of course she was a miserable failure who gave all power and all choice to the women.

    This is what cry babies today need to understand - stop acting like a woman.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Both of the links didn't work for me so what exactly is a "misogynistic view of dating"?

    I have never been under the impression that men see us as surpior, but if they do, what are we supposed to do about it? Not all of us are stuck up or bitchy. I understand that reaction can be hard to take but are we supposed to go out with a guy we can't stand? What if we already have a boyfriend?

    And I don't really see how rape is supposed to fit in there?

  • No

  • The links don't work. I see Izzy2102 brought that to your attention some time ago and you haven't responded. Was it not meant to work as a joke, lol?

    I'll admit that we have some dating advantages. Though the advantages men have elsewhere in life are more numerous. Why then complain about what little we have? Is it because you want to be in complete control of us?


What Guys Said 2

  • Fascinating

  • hate how guys, males, or in order to be a man, we have to take responsibility, never blame anyone else for our own problems, that everything is our own fault


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