Why doesn't he text me?

I met this guy online, and he's very nice (tells me I'm beautiful, shows a sincere interest in getting to know me, very polite and opens doors, etc.). We've been on two dates and he said he wants to see me again. But he hasn't texted me! What's his deal?!


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What Guys Said 1

  • A lot of guys hate texting in general. We like to talk to you face-to-face, and many guys do NOT live their lives on their phones. Also, texting is HORRIBLE for having conversations, and that exactly what girls usually want to do: have a long, back-and-forth conversation via text. Some guys are okay with that, but most guys aren't. They view texts as something for very, very brief conversations:

    "Coming over tonight?"

    "Yes, 8pm"

    "Ok, c you then."

    Most guys don't multitask very well, so they have to come to a complete stop with whatever they are doing in order to text. Most girls multitask well, so they can text while they do 3 other things, so it's not as big a deal for them.

    Bottom line: he likes to enjoy you in person, not via an impersonal text message on his cell phone. If something is important, and you can't wait until you're face-to-face to talk about it, CALL him. Keep your texting as short and focused as possible, and do NOT use it for relationship-related stuff ("How do you feel about us?"), but instead limit texting to brief "good morning"/"good night", short messages that require no reply ("Thinking about u"), or coordinating events ("pick you up at the mall 9pm, we'll meet Todd and Christie at 10:15").

    In other words, re-calibrate your expectations, and don't put a lot of weight on texting as a barometer for your relationship.


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