I'm not sure how to handle this....

I had an amazing coffee date with this guy, best date I've ever had. We are both in our 20's so I was kind of assuming he would be a little more mature and would be okay with me texting him first. So I texted him, he didn't text me back until that evening, his side of the conversation was short and he seemed uninterested but continued to reply to me.

I wanted to put the ball back in his court and let him be the first to text me (since I feel like I wrecked it the first time). So that same evening, when there was a lull in the texting - I sent one saying "Well I'm going out but I'll ttyl, have a nice night :) ".

So If a girl sends you a text message saying "Well I'm going out but I'll ttyl, have a nice night :) ". what does that mean to you, a guy?

He hasn't texted me back, we had such a good time and I don't want to ruin things by texting vs. not texting...so I'm planning on waiting to see if he texts me. Because I refuse to come off needy now. However I did say that I would ttyl but haven't...

My Current Plan - agree or disagree?

I'm waiting to see if he texts me, I know I said I'd "ttyl" but it shouldn't matter because we both seem interested in each other and I refuse to give in the second time and text him. If he wants to talk to me, he can text me. I think he's expecting that I'll text him, as I did the first time.

I don't want him to think that I've lost interest.

Please Help, I'm stumped.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You know, this made me laugh a little because I have gone through this as well and it kills you. I don't have a great answer unfortunately, as I am going through the similar thing. I think that guys are afraid to admit to a girl that they like her, because then they might look too keen. I would just wait it out a little and then perhaps text him after a week and say that you are gutted with his lack of response. I am assuming he is a slack texter and you are probably thinking "if he liked me enough he would text me"...well to me it sounds like guys are just slack and perhaps have gotten use to girls chasing them. He probably had a bad history with some girl that he was probably in love with and she broke his heart, who knows. I would just take it slow.

    He probably didn't reply because he didn't see a reason to. The guy I like wanted me to kiss him at a party and I didn't because I never kissed someone (I'm 22). A few days later I saw him on chat and started talking to him, he acted a bit cold, so I was taken back by it. Guys act like douches sometimes so that they don't seem too attached too fast, because they think it could freak the girl out. He probably expected you to say that he looked great or something (like every other girl he has probably been with) and because you didn't he thinks you aren't interested. I would just text him again and say what I said above, and if that doesn't work, then wait for him to come to you. How did the coffee start? Who initiated it? How did you meet?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • TTyl is code for, 'I'm not interested.' Most guys will take it that way. Now the balls is back in your court...


What Girls Said 2

  • Um, I know I'm not a guy, but first off, was it a date date? Is he working? Could he be busy? Do you think that maybe to him it was just a friend kind of date. Someone he just met? If he asked you out then maybe he's working and busy. Why'd ont you try asking him out for a movie. It wld work both ways and you can get to know him better.

  • It might be one of those things, guys always seem to think that they should wait because they don't wanna seem "to interested" as that scares the girls off (I don't know what idiot actually said this), if you felt that he had a good time with you as well, maybe you should leave it a bit and if he doesn't reply, maybe start looking elsewhere?

    It kinda sucks but if he isn't interested then there isn't really anything you can do.


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