So explain something to me. Why do you do it? Good god, why? Why do you go out, date a guy who, you know full well, has someone else. Either he's married, or is in a "committed" relationship with some other girl, and either you know full well before hand or you find out sooner or later. So why do you do it?
Like first of all, why do women go after these guys that they know are taken in the first place? Or for the other group, when you find out he's taken, why in the name of sweet f***, don't you leave? Is it a self esteem issue? A lack of self respect? What? Oh, and for a third group (which I think is just a subgroup of group A) why the hell do so many girls seem to throw themselves at married guys? Somebody explain this stuff to me because I for one, plainly, simply, completely, do not get it.
Oh and for anyone who wants to yell at me, yes, I know not all women are like this, I am looking for answers to understand why those who do, do what they do.
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i dated this guy casually and he told me he didn't have a girlfriend. he brought up past relationships and said he wasn't in one now. but then little fishy things about his behavior made me think he did so it didn't take long before I stopped dating him and I never slept with him. I never knew for certain and I still am not sure he has a girlfriend.
it wasn't so easy to leave though. I never knew for sure, I just suspected, but that was enough to push me away.
i guess even when you do know, it is hard. I can't speak for getting involved AFTER already knowing.
but if you find out later and he denies it and tells you he doesn't have a wife or girlfriend and you like him, you just want to believe him so badly if you liked him a lot so you tell yourself he is the one you should believe.
plus if he pursued you actively he obviously does not care about his commitment too much. it doesn't mean he should dump her for you and he would likely repeat this behavior. but I can see why a woman would say "not my problem, he kept coming after me and I don't know her anyway"
but I can't talk for women who pursue men they know are taken and initiate the relationship. because to me that doesn't make sense.
i do think it is different when you really honestly thought he was free game when you became involved with him especially if it was long term and he is the one who kept chasing you. because once you are involved with anyone for a while walking away is not so simple.
i also don't know if you should leave if he claims he is single and nobody you know can tell you if he has a girlfriend but he insists he doesn't and his behaviors point to "possibly but not for sure" because then if he doesn't you are a suspicious bitch.
but if a guy tells me straight up "ok I lied I do have a girlfriend" I don't think I could face him anymore.
but I don't know because that never happened to me. I just do know that life isn't black and white and it's hard to learn that the person you thought you were with is actually someone completely different. maybe these women are in denial and it's not so easy. doesn't make them bad people, just human.
life isn't so black and white and the older I get the more I learn so it is very easy to judge people but you aren't in their shoes so maybe you shouldn't, just a thought. if judging people wasn't your intent in this question I apologize but that is how you come off.3