Should I just enjoy the dating process?

Well, I recently went out with this amazing guy whom I've known for almost a year now. Since we were both dating other people during the time we met in school...we remained good friends and even occasionally kept in touch via email even after graduation. Recently I emailed him to see how he was doing and he responded back with a "lets hang out" response back. So I agreed. The first night consisted of drinks and food...oh and some kissing towards the end of the evening. We ended up going out the next night..dinner and a movie...more kissing and some touching. All this sounds fine and dandy when we are together, but he's not the type to call or text apparently, which I find kind of odd. He will respond back to my text, but its like a one or two word text back. I'll be lucky if the text consists of 5 words..geez! He mentioned that the last girl he dated would call and talk up a storm and he hated I took that literally and have refrained from texting and calling him. Now, here is my boo-boo...I accidentally (perhaps it was intentional-shoot), but as we were intimate and kissing on the second date...and as he was exploring with his hands..I asked for him to...well you know...anyhow...totally unlady like right?...I still feel horrible for saying it :( but he said..."I don't have protection on me"...and just continued kissing me. First off, I commend him for saying that and being responsible and a doubt! Anyhow, before I left home..we talked about setting up a day/time to meet up again next week..but I just feel like I gave him the wrong impression. I truly like this guy, but I don't want to invade his space by bothering him with text messages and calls and I don't think my indirect comments in liking/desiring him have clicked in his head least I don't think it has. I just don't want to be "an extra" in his life...I'd like to be apart of his life. Should I just not bother until he calls/texts me? Should I act like I'm not interested to see how he reacts? I'd hate to waste time playing childish mind games. For pete sakes, its only been two dates...should I just enjoy the dating process (if it continues with him) and see where this goes?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Aaaahhh, the 21st Century conundrum. To text or not text. Believe me this is a far more common problem than you think. Half the men can deal with it, the other half despises the whole process. I find men are totally affected by the females in their ealry tech life. I've had over-texters which drives me nuts and I've enjoyed texting with other girls. Really it comes down to the human connection part. The more comfortable and communicative you are in person, the less emphasis the email, text, calls take on.

    As for liking him and not wanting to send the wrong signals early on, that's a good thing. Both men and women make the mistake of jumping on the passion train too early. More often than not that can railroad you into a limited relationship. and with your concern of over texting, it would make you seem needy (intentional or not). Play it cool and let him move at a reasonable pace. If he doesn't get it, be more direct. If that doesn't work, move on.

    Some guys are slow sometimes in reacting to signals, others are good. Just be patient and you will get your answers. Hope that helps some.

    • Thank you for your advice. I think I'm going to remain patient and see how it goes. I feel like I am the one that is always initiating the conversations between us and I truly don't want to seem needy. I guess its good to occasionally be a go-getter, but there is a limit to everything. Like you said.. if it doesn't work out....move on :)


  • im not much of a msn/facebook/cellphone/ technology to communicate kind of guy, I feel like it just dehumanizes us you know... like when you say hugs or kisses... would you do it in real life? id rather hug another person in real life and actually feel it... but anyways, some people just prefer personal communication and not digital

    u should continue the dating process, sex should wait just a little bit, too early can ruin the whole thing. but if you want to talk to him, you should call him and not text him, keep it short and just say something like go see a movie or hangout, go out to main street and have fun, meet up at the corner here... etcetc.

    • Hi there...thank you for responding. I truly agree with you in regards to the dehumanizing aspect. I think I'll play it cool for now until he decides to communicate with me simply because I've been initiating all the communication. If he doesn't contact me, then I'll give him a call like you suggested just to see what's up. If it doesn't work...then it's okay :) No point in crying a river (just a sniffle here and'm kidding).


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