No time to date? Brush off or true?

A former co-worker and I both left the job we'd been at for years. We decided we should hang out (She only worked in summers while going to college, even though it was local, because of her other job). So we had a really fun dinner and drinks last week, though it wasn't a date. I ended with fantastic tickets to next Sunday's pro football game through a family friend, and I called to invite her. She said she'd check her schedule and call back. When she did I missed the call, and she left a message saying:

"I would LOVE to go. I love football. I think we'll have a blast. I just want to make sure I'm not sending you any mixed signals. I really enjoyed spending time with you...(pause) I REALLY... like spending time with you. I'm just finishing my honors project and school right now and I'm not looking to get into any serious dating relationships rights now, which I don't feel like it is that right now, but I just want to make sure I don't send any mixed signals and I don't confuse things at all, so... I know this isn't... I know this is a weird message to send, but I figure I should say something, and I don't want to confuse anything right now. Now I would LOVE to go to the game with you. I think that would be so much fun, and I hope you're still interested in taking me along... etc".

Now I'm very used to brush offs, including due to 'no time to date', but due to the way she said things like 'this isn't serious RIGHT NOW' or how she paused, and also that she is in fact very busy. She does classes, off site school projects, job, etc... and it is her senior year of college.

I have two takes on this. 1. She just wants to be friends. Which I'm fine with. She's a lot of fun to be around. 2. There could eventually be potential to date, just not now.

How do you hear what she's saying? I mean, I get she's busy, but most people are and you can still find time to date, even if it isn't frequent. IDK. Thoughts?

BTW, I did call her back and said "I understand how busy you are. Don't worry about it, and of course I still want to go to the game with you". She seemed happy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she didn't have a remote interest,she would not go at this friendship up,when she is comfortable with the idea,it could bloom to a relationship later.

    • You're always the best with answering my questions! Especially since I seem to be asking one each step of the way lol

    • my pleasure,it comes with experience

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What Guys Said 1

  • Most highly likely a brush off. When a woman is into a guy, regardless of her schedule, she WILL find time for him. Virtually every woman friend of my has told me this. Even a woman I know who puts in 90+ hours a week into her business and is a single mom to boot, said, if a man she was into came along, she would find a way to be with him. A woman telling you she is too busy to date is politely rejecting you.

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