Women - what are the top 5 or 10 things that make a girl want to date a guy?

Be completely honest and women tell me what the top 5 to ten things that make you want to date a guy or get serious with him...no matter how blunt or superficial it may make you sound. Just level with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going to be personal, and honest. And, you can understand that a version of this will be different for other women. I know too much of what I need, so I cannot restrict it to ten.

    1. He must be a heterosexual.

    2. He must be single prior to his relationship with me.

    3. He cannot already have children, and must want to have 3-8 when he marries, all with his wife. And, I must personally be considered ideal for that to him, obviously.

    4. He needs to be either a virgin ("saved for marriage"), or close to it. If he is confident saying no to women not also like this, that's bonus points.

    5. He must be within three years of my own age, a peer. Presently, that means 23-29. And, he must LOOK the same age level, too. It is important we aren't aging at different rates, or it'll become a problem later.

    6. He must be within 6" of my own height. Height Range: 4' 8.5" - 5' 8.5".

    7. I would prefer an attractive East Asian. Other races treat me like I'm a little girl, and I don't want a husband of my own Slavic race, because I grew up being one of just a few Slavic families around, so to look too similar would be like he's my brother or cousin. (Also, a lot of Slavic men are still too tall. Too much European, and not enough East Asian in their personal Eurasian mix.)

    8. He must be thin, and fit. And, I'd prefer he be into swimming, martial arts, running, and other fun things, over sports like football or soccer. He must be like me and prefer to do something active himself, rather than to spectate. I don't dance, so I wouldn't want his exercise source to be dancing either. I prefer the flexible and solid fitness, to the bulgy muscle type.

    9. He must be drug-free, and that includes: cigarettes, alternative tobacco (f.e. chew), alcohol, coffee, and energy drinks.

    10. He must be vegetarian.

    11. He must be Buddhist. And, I do not mean "western" mockery of Buddhism, I'm not about meditation, I'm about spiritual truth and progress.

    12. There must be mutual chemistry.

    13. He must be traditional, not a feminist.

    14. I don't care about formal education, as long he is not an idiot, and has the skills and/or talents to ensure employment. I'd prefer he enjoy his job/career, and for it to not keep him away too often, for too long, if it ever requires travel. I'd also rather it not be so dangerous it might take him away early, I want to grow old together.

    15. Mutual love must come to be, within six months, or it isn't going to happen.

    16. He must be the pursuer from the start, and he must be quick to ask to be an official courting couple. I don't "date," I practice proper human courtship. "Dating" is for people who don't know what they want besides to fill their bed.

    As can be seen, my dream guy's an immigrant; and, I have no problem with that, as long as he knows enough English to talk, to get to know each other.

    • This is a pretty specific and detailed list... are these your non-negotiable requirements, or is this your ideal guy?

    • Show All
    • lol Thanks.

    • Yeah good luck!

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What Girls Said 12

  • 1: Physical attraction. If that's not there, he can be the best guy ever, I'm not gonna fall for him.

    2: Funny: I heard I have a "special" kind of humor, I want my guy to understand it and maybe be on the same level with me.

    3: Patience. I know I can be difficult sometimes, unreasonable, ... but he just has to know me and know how to calm me down.

    4: Respect: If a guy doesn't respect me, bye bye.

    5: Intelligence: I don't need him to have a phd, but just knowing what's going on in the world, knowing his own language and how to write in it (I just hate spelling mistakes, I make them in English too but not in Dutch).

  • 1. This will clearly not be the number one requirement for most girls, but for me the main thing is that he's a Christian. Not by religious background, but by the way he loves Jesus and the values he lives his life by. My reasoning for this is that I want to be on the same page about the way we see life and in what a relationship means to both of us and the goals that we have for the future. It's something that's so close to my heart and so much a part of who I am, that I want to be able to freely share that with whoever I date. I want us to mutually make each other better people and to bring out the best in each other.

    2. He has direction in life and/or is passionate about something. There's nothing more attractive than a guy who's confident and knows where he's going.

    3. He's genuinely caring and selfless, and puts the needs of others above his own. It's so rare to find a guy like this, but when you do, it's so admirable. I know 3 men in my life like this: my father, my best friend's boyfriend (who is also a close friend of mine) and my other great friend's fiance.

    4. He looks after his body and his appearance. He doesn't have to be a supermodel or a bodybuilder by any means, but he needs to have good hygiene, dress well, and keep in shape. I work pretty hard to keep in shape so it'd be nice if he did too, plus it's fun to be able to exercise, play sports and go on adventures together.

    Side note: although it's out of a guy's control, I wouldn't date someone who is shorter than me, so he'd definitely have to be over 5'9 for me to consider him... being a taller girl, I want to still feel small against whoever I date. It's just a girl thing, I guess :)

    5. He's fairly easy going and has a great sense of humor. I love to laugh and so I'm definitely attracted to guys who I can have a fun time with... but I'm not attracted to him if a good laugh is ALL I can have with him... there also needs to be depth to him, where I know that he can be serious when he needs to be.

    6. He gets along well with my family and closest friends. I totally trust the judgement of my parents, my brothers and my two closest friends, so I wouldn't date someone without their approval. I know they want the best for me, so I won't settle for "yeah, he's okay I guess, but you could do better."

    7. He's wise with his finances. It's okay if he's still in uni and struggling to get by, but I want to know that he uses whatever money he has in a wise way and doesn't waste it. I'm only 20 so I'm not looking to settle down yet and I doubt anyone I date would have a house or be wealthy at all, but it'd be nice to know that he makes good decisions.

    8. He's intelligent enough to sustain good conversation with me and with others. He doesn't have to be Einstein, but I love a good debate and chatting to someone with the intellectual capacity to make me think about things more deeply. But not so smart that he's arrogant or highly strung... just a humble, deep-thinking intelligence.

    • I feel like there's definitely more, but I wrote a LOT, hahaha. I'll leave you with those main things :)

    • Very good grasp of what you want, don't let people try to take that away from you, and they will.

      You alone hold the keys to your heart, and know who should receive those keys.

  • 1. Likes the person he is (confidence).

    2. Attractive (to me).

    3. Intelligent (my opinion of intelligence).

    4. Conscious of his actions and the effect they have and caring about those actions.

    5. Motivated to accomplish his goals.

  • -Ambitious


    -Compatible personality

    -Not broke/cheap

    -Great personality (knows when to joke and when to be serious, spontaneous, affectionate, good listener).

  • I have to find him attractive both physically and personality wise.

    He has to be taller than me.

    Well educated and ambitious

    Loyal and fun loving

    Kind and sweet

    Decisive since I'm very indecisive



    Genuine and trustworthy

    Playful and funny


  • 1. He looks after his appearance, the last guy went out with didn't look after his eyebrows and he had a monobrow going on and it really put me off...nice hair and isn't scruffy.

    2. Hygiene, I couldn't go out with a guy who didn't wash daily and use deodorant.

    3. Preferably I'd like to go out with a guy who is taller than me, I'm 5'8 and I am usually taller than most guys my age which is really annoying.

    4 . Nice personality, confidence is good. Not big headed but confident so they can stand up for themselves.

    5. A bonus would be if they can kiss reasonably well.

  • Attraction

    He gives me butterflies

    I enjoy his company

    He treats me the way I like


    • IMO, this is the most overall complete list for most females.

    • No details?

    • No details because I'm pretty general in what I like and who I'd be interested in dating. Initially, it isn't so serious, it's not as if it was a list of what I'd look for in a husband. So for me to want to date a guy, generally we just have to have that chemistry, I need to find him attractive and like him and then it goes from there

  • tall

    attraction(they don't nessasirly have to be cute but personaitly can make someone hot wen ther not)


    not bone skinny




    emotionaly stable enough(he can have problems but not at a point he can't function)

    a job

    treats his mother well (unless she dosnt respect or care for him)

    • That's very cliche "doesn't know what she wants yet." You're list is just a compilation of what you think society wants you to want in a man. No clarification on what it even means to be tall, attractive, funny, or to treat his mother well. You're twenty, so you have time to figure it out, but I just had to point it out... You need to put more into figure this out still, because LOT of men meet that criteria, a LOT.

    • no that's becaus I don't have daddy issues and my father is that kind of man!

      i don't want someone exactly like my dad but he's a good man

  • Good Looks,




    A bit of a bad boy, meaning he doesn't take crap for people


    • Not that detailed either, but it's still easy to tell you genuinely know what you like.

  • Comfort level around him

    Can make me smile

    Looks (sorry..)

    Seems sincere

    Not pushy

    • You need to work on your confidence. :)

      Don't think about "won't hurt me," think about...

      "What do I want?"

      "What do I need?"

      "What do I deserve?"

      Then, say, "Yes, I can!"

    • Thanks for the honesty there. A bit of a sting, but I prefer people to say it like it is. And yeah, my confidence level is not so good. I'll admit to that.

  • I can trust him and he hasn't lied to me/doesn't give me a bad feeling in my gut (one time I had that problem with someone)

    He is well educated (I am too so it's important for me) post-baccalaureate

    He is fun to talk to and I enjoy our conversations, they aren't just like filler

    He is a strong person

    He makes me feel happy

    I feel attracted to him

    We mesh or have similar views on things (sometimes you just feel that connection)

    I feel like he can take care of me..understand me emotionally and be supportive. (I notice this is easier to find with a guy who is older than myself)

    He is smart

    He is mature

    • Your answer thusfar (as of when I submitted this) is the most honest, and most indicative of knowing what you personally want. But, why is it anonymous? Are you keeping what you want secret? That's not a good idea, because if you don't tell people what you want in a man, you want get such a man.

  • Chemistry





    • Why anonymous while putting up a great, non-offensive answer?

      Yours is one of the best three I personally see in this, though yours isn't personalized/detailed. Even so, it's a great list for being a general representation for women, better than the others who weren't personalized.

What Guys Said 1

  • 1. Good looks

    2. Big penis.

    3. Money

    4. Confidence

    5. Social status.