Really shy guy, pursuing a really social girl

The title pretty much is the gist of what my concern is. I have been flirting with this girl I became very attracted to out of the blue. It isn't a "wow she's hot" attraction either, there are a ton of "hot" girls where I go to school, but this one is different. I like her in more ways than one. It might be simply that she showed interest in me first. She talked to me and cheered for me at a sporting event and maybe it meant nothing, but I think it's what set me on this path to pursue her and look for a relationship with her. I grew some balls and talked to her in the hallway every now and again and eventually asked her for her number. Since then we have been texting every day and I am not always the one to start the conversation either. I was thinking about making a move next week but I have a concern:

All my life I have been shy and quiet. This hasn't always been a good thing because I have never asked a girl out before. The girl I am interested in is a very social person and a very kind person. I honestly have never seen her complain about anything or look down on anyone. This is part of the reason I am interested in her and part of the reason she intimidates me a little. If I do end up going on a date with her, how can I break out of my shell and get her to laugh at my jokes? I guess I'm looking for first date advice. Where and what were you doing, how did it go and why, etc. I want to have a perfect first date and not put her off with an awkward silent date that just feels unnatural. I want her to want to see me again after that.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't over think don't worry yourself.if y'all are texting then you're on a good start. Be yourself.she enjoys your company already because you're you.say what's on your mind and let yourself flow.i'm outgoing and some of my closest friends are shy.some shy people worry about saying something stupid, outgoing people say stupid sh*t all the time lol we just don't care! Good luck.maybe I'm a little psychic, but I get good vibes about you two :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • Your first date will go exactly as YOU plan it! If you are confident enough then tell your jokes. If she likes you she will like them too. Chips will fall where they may. As an introvert you need to learn and appreciate the dynamics of an extrovert.

  • find some interesting place in your town that she probably haven't been to...and just be natural she liked you first like you said and you won't change your personality for her so just try... good luck


What Guys Said 2

  • Well first... she is def into you. And second, I am pleased that you stepped up and asked her number. Now you need to take the next step as you know.

    She probably knows you are a little quiet and shy and thoughtful. She probably likes that. Between the two of you, I am sure that you will find plenty to talk about. Especially if she is the one that is talkative. Ask her questions, and let her tell you about herself. Occasionally tell her a story about you.

    I doubt it will be silent... but ahead of time think of a few things that you might want to talk about. Your sports, her family, her profession/major, her goals in life, ask her to tell you her fav joke, tell her yours... Tell her that you liked that she came to cheer for you. Ask her why? Etc.

    It will be fine brother... just be you.

  • Yeah good luck. The only advice I can give is do not over think it or anticicpate what will happen because the way you picture something never turns out the way you picture out. get rid of the fantasies and illusions. the less you are concenred with the outcome and enjoy yourself the better your chances will b and it will feel natural . I know this from xperience dude.

    another thing I would take her to a place that you two can interract and have fun. I would suggest bowling where bowling is the distraction and its a great place to laugh at each other, make fun of other bowlers nearby and gives you ample opportunity to help her not bowl a strike...the old ill show you how to do it and gives you an excuse to touch her. also when either one of you get a strike or a spare you can hug, congratulate, and opens the doorway to flirting, touching, etc. I had a great first date bowling.

    avoid movies because its awkward and do not go to dance clubs or a place where there could be a lot of competition and another guy could steal your girl or girl of interest right out from under you this happened to me once. commonc sense. I would try to figure out what her interests her and try to plan the date according to her but if she don't care bowling is great and fun even if you suck at it or laser tag or a little petite restaurant that has a romantic vibe to it.

    do not worry about being shy that's probably why she likes u. I am shy to but eventually you gotta make a move and do it because she is not gonna do it . do not worry about rejection if you make a will feel much worse if you do not make a move than making a move and getting shot down trust me. assuming you are getting signals but it sounds like she digs you for sure. assuming you are having a great night with her and she is enjoying your company I always like to try after hugging whatever to touch her hand or hold her hand when walking if she lets you that's great its almost a green light for a kiss at the end of the night if not more. also one way to build up sexual tension or arousal is sitting close to her on the date and when talking to her assuming its a loud atmosphere whisper in her ear whatever you gotta say. girls have done this to me and its a huge turn on for some reason as I have done it to women and it seems to get them even more attracted to you...its like touching someone without actually touching them just their sweet sexy hot breath on you and your mind starts to go crazy good luck.

    but bottom line do not have any expectations and b yourself if she seems into you take the advice I gave you and good luck. also too its always a good idea to not fal into the friend zone and its a good idea at the end of the date to tell her you like her and how you feel about her. honesty is super huge shell likely respond in kind but if she don't at least you will feel good and not stress about not telling the truth which lying and deceiving is the worst. b honest with her because women are more shrewd and cunning than men .

    • I already have a have enough literature and stories to read in school, you should make your posts shorter. I can't get myself to read the whole thing,

    • I am trying to help the guy out asking the question not you. I am sure he is looking for specifics not generalizations which almost everyone gives on here. short answers normally suck or are insufficient if you don't like my advice don't read it and shut up.