Can a girl forgive a guy that was very mean to her 2 years earlier?

How mean you ask? Read below..


I think we all know that women have very good memories, especially for something that was done bad to them by a boy.

So about two years ago, I took a girl on a great date. She acknowledged said great date. A problem, is that she had been broken up with her boyfriend 2-3 months earlier. I met her on her 21st birthday and she was particularly sad about the boyfriend.

So, after the date, around a day later, I messaged her. I think she replied that she is busy and will write back soon. This was her last message.

Now I had NEVER experienced a girl doing this before, and I had just moved to this town. It turns out MOST women do this around here. Extreme rudeness in texting, even if they are interested in the guy.

So I basically messaged her every 3-5 or 7 days for about 2 months. The messages got ruder and meaner, but simply asking for an I'm sorry. Eventually, obviously, she called me... apparently almost crying begging me to stop.

I said I would as long as I got an "Im sorry" After about 5 minutes of complaining she eventually apologized.

So recently, I ran into her at a bar as I was watching a friend of mine perform. She ran into me, an apparent attempt to knock my drink over. Though the whole night she was positioned in places that were in eye contact of me.

About a week later, I walked into her job. I had NO IDEA where she worked and this was completely random. She smiled really big and said "welcome" I realize this could just be part of her job.

So I was randomly looking to message a friend with the same first three letters of this girls name..and her Facebook profile popped up. So I friended her...a day ago to see what would happen.

And she accepted the request.

This girl is STILL my favorite girl I have ever met...before the rude lack of text messaging.

Should I pursue?

I am pretty sure she has been single for the past 2 years. And I don't want to stroke my own ego, but I am pretty sure I am one of the more attractive and successful suitors she has had in the past 2 years.

Why is nobody commenting on female bitchiness and rudeness in texting?

Or why is nobody commenting on how the girl should have apologized early on or simply stated she was not interested.

By the way, this girl apparently makes herself appear as she is an angel who is trying to find Mr. right on her Facebook.

She believes strongly in replying to guys and particularly to having the guy message her first.

She s a hypocrite and all you dumb f*** ladies support her.
ME: I am wondering, just for my own personal growth as a person. Do you hate me?

HER: No just you make me feel awkward

ME: I agree, it is very awkward. But seriously, thank you. You not hating me takes a giant load off my shoulders I have been carrying for years.

And by the way, she replied very quickly. *Grown ups talking now*


Most Helpful Girl

  • a general answer to your question: yes a girl can forgive. if he has changed for the better and matured and tries to make things right by pursuing her and becoming her friend, gaining her trust again, of course she can forgive assuming she is single.

    as for your situation, it sounds good that she accepted your friend request and she said welcome at her job, I think she does have feelings for you and she is definitely not shutting you out, so good so far!

    but I think both of you need to stop the immature games and the crying and begging, sounds corny almost and weird...u begging so she says I'm sorry and then she complaining? like whaaat? just be mature about things and talk things out professionally and calmly next time and I guarantee you guys will be fine.

    • I am completely down with professional and calm conversation. That is how I started when I was messaging her. promise!

      I just put on her Facebook

      "thanks for the add!

      I will wait a while and possibly message her if she comes online.

    • thanks for the add?! again CORNY. stop reading into everything so much

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • I think she deserves better than you. You got aggressive to the point that she had to ask you to stop? She deserves way better than you.

    • I like how you put this. But again...why didn't she just say I'm sorry early on. Or say she is not interested in seeing me anymore?

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    • I didn't harass her until a looong period down the line. This is unacceptable behavior from her part.

    • HARASSMENT IS ALWAYS WRONG. YOU are unacceptable. Please don't sound so smug. You were 100% wrong, whether she cares enough to tell you or not.

  • Honestly, move on. You already embarrassed yourself in front of her by begging to talk to her, then nonstop badgering her, and basically harassing her through text message until she called you "CRYING, BEGGING [YOU] TO STOP.". Now all of a sudden within a week you saw her at a bar, went to her work, requested her on Facebook, and left her a message. Even if some of these events weren't planned it's still too much and if I were her, I would be freaking out. You're doing way too much here.

    • alexandra..this was all within about 2 months.

  • You have no respect for women and it's apparent. You don't deserve a woman at all. "She's a hypocrite and all you dumb f*** ladies support her." ?

    • ^agreed.

      You're an idiot and you don't deserve ANY lady.

    • Show All
    • To wish DEATH upon somebody because of a comment means you are so inexplicably F***ED UP that I actually feel sorry for you and the people who have to deal with you on a daily basis. God bless your soul.

    • hahaha that comment makes no sense as we are all going to die anyway :) but nice try.

  • You sure have a lot of "random" coincidences.

    And your question is 100% up to you. You shouldn't be seeking the opinions of strangers on whether you should pursue a girl or not. If you are fond of her, I don't see why you shouldn't.

    And yeah your last sentence sounds very cocky and makes me wonder what makes you so sure about that.

    • And what you did with the texting towards her was a very immature thing, and it overall just makes me think of you as an overly prideful person :/

  • You're pathetic.

  • Yes, a girl can forgive, but really...the way you acted was really really bad. You need to do a lot to make up for it, long before you can think about dating.

    • so what she did was not bad?

  • yes, I would keep trying, but make sure she know you are doing it because you like her and not because you are trying to be annoying or tease her :)

  • Dude!? You're crazy!

  • You sound so completely full of yourself. The girl already told you in the beginning that she had just come out of a relationship 2-3 months ago so she already gave you a reason why she might not be really into it or might not be ready for another relationship.

    You are a cocky idiot who is so damn immature and can't take rejection well. If you are this full of yourself, then why can't you just move on and try and get another lady? Or have ALL ladies rejected you? I wouldn't be surprised if they have, afterall, your behavior and attitude/personality is frigging DESPICABLE and HIGHLY undesirable. I mean I can't believe you just said "...all you dumb f*** ladies support her."

    I can't even imagine any girl wanting you at this point lol, so you might as well just give up searching hahaha.

    • I can't even believe you are between 25 and 29 years old, your behavior sounds like you're in high school.

    • I am guessing you are in high school.

  • First, you are very lucky that she didn't press stalking charges against you. She could have. There is no defense in court for "I had to get an apology for rudeness." WTH were you thinking? Are you Miss Manners or something? Where is it written that a person has to "get back to you?" NO WHERE! You acted like a spoiled brat.

    Second, yes, most people can forgive & forget. However, it doesn't sound like she will, since she tried to spill your drink on you after 2 years. I'd say she'd still ticked off. Better get over your favorite girl & move on.

    Third, stop being the manners nazi. You cannot harass people into doing what you want. That's bad form. And YOU owe HER an apology.

    • I admit that I acted like a brat. As someone can block a number, I am pretty sure I would win that case. Besides, apparently girls feel they are allowed to not reply and be spoiled brats themselves right? I imagine you do this...

      anywho..I will carry on...

      I already apologized to her. She and other women do not feel that ignoring a guy they lead on is wrong. She obviously just wanted an emotional fluffer guy.

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    • I asked this question on here and got so many hateful and clearly ignorant and dumb women. Every girl outside of here and guy I have shared this story with agrees with me.

      Why? because these people know me and know how good of a person I am. So...with all that in mind, I KNOW I am correct. :-)

    • If you knew it anyway, why ask in the first place? I think you do protest too much. Have a good life.

What Guys Said 3

  • yup good man. much better. the behavior described in the original question was immature, selfish and needy

    • Thanks. I have all the women above talking down to me so much. As much as I feel I did the right thing, I did even more of the right thing with that message. Too bad nobody cares.

  • "Extreme rudeness in texting" is actually what you did not her.

  • She really sounds like a twat. Girls ALWAYS do this sh*t where they say they'll call - they never do - and then when you try to talk to them, all you get is dead silence. They don't even have the guts or common courtesy to say "no thanks, I'm not interested"... how hard is that? I wouldn't have pursued her as aggressively as you did though. I say forget about this girl and try to find one that has some concept of punctuality.

    • This is a regular pattern for me where I live now. In the midwest...when I was in the South I had never heard of this happening.

      Girls would just say, I'm sorry..not interested..and guys were cool.

      here, girls always give out their number but then just ignore the guys. I wonder why...

    • YES! The Midwest is awful... when I was on the East Coast, I seldom experienced this crap either

    • god thank you!