I like her but I don't think she likes me.

I have a major crush on this girl in my classes at college. I can't stop thinking about her, it upsets me when I see her upset and I enjoy everyday that bit extra just for having seen her or heard from her. Unfortunately, I don't think she feels the same way about me. I'm not a badass guy that does anything exciting or cool, but she does and she knows loads of guys like that, so I feel I'm already at a disadvantage there. We were good friends, I liked her then too, a few years ago but she wanted me to stop texting her as much since we texted like everyday, but it's always me, then and now, that texts first. The only reason she has texted me first is when it was about homework at college. She doesn't always text back to some of my messages and mostly she will respond to one or two and then stop, which hurts a bit each time, but I forgive her for it because I like her. More recently we have been becoming good friends again and she has been telling me more stuff about her, like she has an anxiety/depression disorder thing. I thought this meant that she could trust me, but I think she's told others who are just her friends too. We went to the cinema the other night and watched the new Taken 2 film. I had intended to ask her to be my girlfriend then, but then she started telling me about how she couldn't go out in her hometown that night with other friends because it is awkward for her and no one else since she has ex boyfriends there that I didn't know she'd had and had never mentioned to me before. Then she told me how she often gets asked out and she doesn't know how to respond to a guy saying that he really likes her, and that it's just because she is nice to everyone. She carried on by saying that now she doesn't trust a guy saying he liked her because of past events so she thinks they don't mean it. At college she has occasionally just rested her head on my shoulder when she was tired and fed up of college work (recently she has been telling me how she is depressed quite often and how she just wants to commit suicide which I keep telling her not to do whe she says that) and I thought that this was a sign she liked me, but she does this with other guys too. She has told me how she doesn't get on with some people who should be her friends, so I thought we were pretty close, and she's told me how's she's done some crazy stuff at parties, like got with guys and done some illegal stuff shall we say, so I assumed she trusted me, but I don't know if she sees me as a guy friend who she can tell anything to and I won't tell anyone, probably because she knows I like her, or because she likes me too. I'm not an overly impressive guy, the only thing I have going for me is my intelligence, which isn't much really compared to everyone in our classes, so do you guys think I have a chance or not? Should I just give up on the idea that maybe I could be with her or should I give it a go? I would appreciate any help, thanks.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she does trust you and sees you as a good friend. But she also sounds very vulnerable and insecure. You could tell her you like her and she could respond that she likes you also and the two of you could start dating. But the main question to ask is, will she genuinely like you or will she like the idea of having someone who genuinely likes her? This is a tricky area, and things could turn out great but at the same time they could turn around horribly and you could be the one who get's hurt. It sounds to me that the time is probably not right for you to pursue something with her. I don't think she needs a boyfriend necessarily more than she probably needs a supportive friend. Someone that will listen to her and be there for her when she truly needs it, and that may be what she needs from you right now.

    • So I have to be the guy she needs, not the guy she deserves? I could give it a try I suppose. I really like her and want to help her and to be with her, but I don't want to get stuck in the friend zone where this could lead. I've liked her for like 3 years, but each day it feels as if I like her more than the previous day.

      The worst part is this is the best part of my life, woo!

    • I'm just giving you a very likely scenerio. It doesn't mean that's what will happen. When someone is in the kind of place that she is, a relationship typically won't turn out healthy and everyone involved will be hurt, especially the person trying to help her. Things could turn out very disastrous and you may lose her in your life all together, whether it be as a friend or as a girlfriend. Use your best judgement but be very cautious.

    • Something I should also have mentioned is that she said that she liked how she could tell me about what's up with her disorder and that I can understand what was up and that I don't constantly ask her how she is.

What Guys Said 1

  • This is a girl with mental problems and she wants to control you in every situation'; she rattled on about guys asking her out because she knew y0u were getting eady to ask her out! Con't think she trusts you or anyone else. You'll never really ge close to her.

    If you really like her, fine, but don't think of her as a long term friend. Just have fun with her; she isn'tinterested in your feelings and only wants to vent, since she has such a lot to vent about!

    Sure she's ineresting, but that word isn't always positive!

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