Boyfriend suddenly acting weird - is he cheating?

Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We were long distance for a while and I moved for him 6 months ago. Things were great for a while. Then he started behaving weird since he started a new job a month ago. He says he doesn't smoke and only drinks occasionally..but he started coming home smelling like cigarettes. He would go straight to the bathroom and not let me hug him. He was hiding it but fessed up when I caught him outside smoking with his mom (fail). Said sorry and that he wouldn't do it anymore but I still smell it sometimes. Then started drinking once or twice a week. He started taking his phone with him everywhere a week ago, even on the bed to sleep. Coming home 2 hours late..says its because of random issues at work. It's freaking me out. I thought we had an open relationship so I asked him about it. Of course he denied it. I don't know what to think. We usually tell each other everything or so I thought. Two days ago, he got a text message while we were talking that said "Luisssss." He said he didn't know who it was and didn't care. Now I don't know about anyone else, but if I got a text with my name, I'd want to know who it is. I grabbed his phone when he was sleeping which I know I shouldn't do but I couldn't help it and saw that only that text was deleted. I could tell because he still had spam messages. This is confusing me to hell and I don't like being lied to or being paranoid. It's making me think I'd been lied to this whole relationship and that maybe I don't know him like I thought I did. Please give me some advice. If someone has experienced this before...please tell me what you did. Thank you.


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  • My opinion-YES he is cheating or at least hiding something from you!

    confront him with what you have just told us, point out specifics if possible. Let him know that it is really wearing on you that his behavior has changed so drastically.

    if you don't feel like he is "coming clean" suggest taking time apart, if it's this stressful on you maybe it's time too break up:( but 5 years is a lot to throw away. Try to work it out.

    (I have a problem with people smoking, so catching him would have ended it right there for me. Not to mention that not allow me to hug him when he gets home. Both HUGE in my book)