Texting vs Calling a girl?

I tend to be more comfortable texting girls and setting up things and just checking up on a girl. At the same time I don't know if this is shooting myself in the foot. When I am calling or face to face with a girl I just can't seem to figure out what to say. There are times when I can be funny and outgoing, but when I am with a girl that I like all of sudden I am introverted and boring.

So I need advice on both whether I am shooting myself in the foot by solely texting?

Also my problem going from being extroverted and funny with my friends to just clamming up when I see a random attractive girl?

P.S. I just recently went out with a girl that I have texted solely maybe just called her once. Now it seems like she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and I see her pretty frequently. So it comes down to what should I do know? Normally when I do see a girl I got rejected by I just act like nothing is wrong and talk to them the same way. So maybe someone can help me with this part as well?


Most Helpful Girl

  • People do tend to be more comfortable texting nowadays. I'm not sure why. I'm old fashioned and tend to prefer the phone for people in whom I'm actually interested. While it's cute to get a quick text or email from a guy during the day (to show he's interested or thinking about me), I don't like getting locked into the two-hour texting stints. Just pick up the phone or have lunch with the girl. (Sigh.)

    I tell the guy up front that I'm not a textaholic and that I might take a while to even check my texts on any given day. I explain that I prefer to use a phone as a phone and to use email/message boards (bigger screen and better access for me) for messages. Text only if we're in a crowded place and trying to meet up... I've never had a problem with that system. Guys tend to like that I'm up front about my communication style so there are no surprises and I'm not "playing the waiting game" with them. (Wish everyone would do the same, haha.)

    • bravo

      a lady after my own heart.

      I despise text messaging with a passion

      what takes 5 minutes to key into an emotionless gadget takes 5 seconds to say in a call

      it is breeding a population of socially challenged individuals :)

    • Show All
    • they are useful for some things.

      "see you in 5" for example.

      starting a relationship or holding a conversation are not one of its uses.

    • Yes, exactly. "On my way."/"At the corner table." Stuff that's short and doesn't require scrolling and squinting at the tiny screen.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly, it depends. I myself prefer texting. Why? I hate talking on the phone. It's just one of those things I cannot stand unless it's a dire emergency. A call once in a while is okay if it's just for a bit, but long dragged out conversations via phone kill me.

    As for the girl you went out with, perhaps in this case you should call. Gauge her reaction. Does she sound surprised that you called? Bored? Excited?

  • Please Call. Even though a lot of girls like to text and do if very frequently (Me included) I love when a guy takes time out of his day to call me. It shows that he cares and it's more personal. Who cares if you mess up? It can be cute sometimes when guys are stumbly.

  • Texting doesn't hinder, but calling certainly helps. These days, it takes a lot of effort to call someone. It shows she's worth your immediate time and the majority of your attention.

    But a text is nice too, as long as you reply in good time.

  • I think of texting as more disconnected than a phone call. While I do text quite a bit and don't mind a guy texting me, if he NEVER calls me, it does make me think he's just taking the shortcut way of talking to me rather than REALLY talking to me. I can't help but feel that they text to keep their options open - after all, you can have several conversations simultaneously while texting but a phone call demands more attention and therefore, more interest. I feel more special with phone calls.

    Also, I think it depends on the conversation. I've told boyfriends about troubles and they would try comforting me, but I was wishing the entire time that they would just call.

    I like a combination - texting every day stuff, phone calls occasionally (especially during emotional times).


What Guys Said 2

  • of course its easier to text. you have time to think it out and go over it again and again. if we had time in real life to go over every thought and word then nobody would ever make mistakes and everybody would be a stand up comedian

    that's not who you really are.

    when eventually you do get together she'll be expecting you to be this person in real life and when you are not she'll be more inclined to reject you.

    texting is no way to start a relationship.

    it's killing human interaction

    • so I say that you should call.

      at least what she sees/hears is what she gets. if she rejects you there and then well at least you know.

      wasting time texting only to meet and get rejected is just that... wasted time.

  • It's far better to call than text.

    60% of communication is body language.

    30% is tone.

    10% is your choice of words.

    So ideally, don't let what's going through fall to less than 40%.


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