Explain this girl's behavior

So I was out at a bar a couple of weekends ago. A very attractive girl came up to my group of friends and starting talking to me and a buddy of mine. After having a short conversation she said she had to help her friend with something and went away. Later in the night I noticed her sitting by herself looking bored/upset. While checking her out she looked over at me, and when she saw that I was also looking at her gave a big smile. I smiled back, and after a few minutes went over to her table to talk.

She was very receptive, and seemed very happy that I had came over. She and I eventually moved towards my group after I had bought her a drink. Things were going well until her friend showed up telling her that they were leaving. Before she left she offered her number without me asking, and after dialing it she then had mine.

I texted her about an hour later saying it was nice to meet her. She said the same. The following Monday I started texting her, just making small talk. She seemed into it. She eventually asked me if I was on a social networking site and gave me her username.

On Wednesday I was texting her and I brought up happy hours. After a few exchanges about where she likes to go, and her saying something along the lines of "I'm not a huge fan of happy hours" I said "well I was going to ask you'd like to get drinks sometime." Now I sent two messages back to back immediately, and she only responded to the other one, not the part about us getting drinks. So I thought that was not a good sign, but she texted me a bit more after.

The next day I posted a pic online and she commented on it, and then we started texting just for a bit. Then tonight (Sunday) she texted me starting the conversation. After several exchanges that were playful, I sent her a message saying "what are you doing after work on Wednesday" hoping to set up a meeting between the two of us. She didn't respond.

So what's the deal? I could have chalked her giving me her number at the bar to drunkenness or many other bar related exchanges, but we've talked after that and she seems interested enough to reach out to me. What I don't understand is why she is texting me if she doesn't want to go out on at least one date? Especially when she reached out to me tonight. It would be one thing if she was just responding to my messages, but tonight she texted me.

So if someone can explain this that would be great. I will just assume she's not interested but I don't get why she's reaching out to a guy who she just met a week ago, who is showing that he is interested, if she doesn't want to pursue anything.

So she finally reaponded this morning with "skydiving." Yep, that's what she said she was doing Wednesday after work. So I responded "oh your typical weeknight type stuff." She then replied "yeah no big deal. What's going on Wednesday after work?" I then replied "Haha Apparently skydiving is. I'm so out of the current trends. I thought we could grab some drinks."

It's been almost an hour now and no response from her. If she's not interested then fine but why act intrigued by my question?
The rest of today:

Her- Oh is that what you thought?

Me- Yeah I do. So what time are you off work?

Her- Guess

Me- Well I'm going to say its pretty early if you are skydiving afterward. With daylight savings in effect and it getting darker each it day it MUST be earlier than 5pm. Unless you skydive in the dark like a navy seal...which is a possiblity I haven't ruled out. So I'm guessing 4pm.

Her- Well you don't have to be a nave seal to have night vision goggles

I then quit.
I figure I need to call to avoid this game playing nonsense. At least then I can get a direct response. I figure she is interested to some degree which is why she replies but I really am starting to get frustrated with the indirect answering.

I just feel like her replies to me are little hurdles she sets up waiting to see how clever my responses can be. It's fun to a degree but it is accomplishing nothing I feel.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she is blowing hot and cold. She probably needs more reassurance or isn't entirely convinced that you are genuine. Who knows. She may simply not be into you...but why all the texting?

    That is one confusing lady and I'm freaking female. I would say that you should leave it and text her in a week and see how she responds. If she is receptive try again then. Don't rush to conclusions though. Have patients and see how it plays out.

    • See update

    • I stand by what I said. Wait a week before contacting her. You should have to jump through THAT many hoops!

What Guys Said 1

  • she was busy and when she could reply it was too late