Why can't I trust any man?

So, I have two questions here. I know its a little lengthy, so if you do get through this and respond, then thank you. I appreciate it.

I went out with this guy. He had planned things rather perfect. He was friendly, intelligent and charming. By the end of the date he was getting a bit touchy with me, nothing inappropriate but just more than what I'm used to on first date like arm around my back, hands on my shoulders, head on my shoulder (which I know is a bit weird for a guy to do...). Since then he's been texting me each night, talking about the day, finishing each message of with xxx. All good right?

I'm not sure. And that's where my second problem comes in. I'm 19 and never been in a relationship. This fact does not bother me. What worries me is that there are a lot of guys I've dated who are really nice. I think they're nice, we date a couple of times, then I just keep them as friends, giving myself some reason as to why they aren't for me, be it too sexual, too serious, or simply just not my 'type'. For a while, I thought I just hadn't met the right guy, but I think its going beyond that. I've dated a pretty broad spectrum of guys, this is my problem. My parents separated when I was a toddler and while I have had some contact with my dad I think this has affected me. I don't trust men. If they're nice, I see them as up to something, if they're not, then they aren't treating me right. They can't win. I know there isn't a magical solution that someone can suggest here, but any advice or similar situations?

Back to my first problem, I'm already giving myself reasons not to trust this guy. Charming and perfect = don't trust. Along with this, his Facebook has heaps of photos of him drinking with his arms around every girl in sight, looking very chummy. He's also on exchange and will only be here for another 12 months. When I first met him, I was okay with that and happy to see what could happen in that time. Since then I've started questioning his motives: I don't just want to be the next girl he sleeps. Even if things don't last (which is obvious considering) I'd like it to mean something. So, if this was you, would you be questioning him or am I just being ridiculous as always?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being here on exchange creates structural barriers that will make things really hard in the future. Even if this guy is genuine, and you like him, it might be wise to pass for someone that will be around.


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