Guy on the side when dating? Opinion please

The guy I am dating for 4 months have been telling me half-truths and acting weird. He still say he cares and we do text every day when we can't see each other but something is missing, something is different. He doesn't respond to my texts the way he used to, he does things that he wouldn't dare to do before but when I ask him, he say. We're OK, stop worrying. Stop thinking so hard

it's not about the text and call, even the way he talks to me is different, he still say babe and sweetie and still jealous as hell but you know when a person is disconnected

I was talking to one of my girlfriends about it and she said that happened to her with her ex and it's obvious that my boyfriend is losing interest and he is losing it very fast, she also explained that if her ex had told her straight, or if she listened to the non-verbal cues then she wouldn't have gone through the depression that she did. She suggested that I should find a "back up" guy, and that it is not cheating but I should always have someone else waiting in the wings to hang out with "JUST IN CASE" and that I should spend less time with my boyfriend and start hanging out with her and different people more, cause my boyfriend is clearly losing interest.

I don't know, guys hit on me all the time because I am pretty attractive but it's never my personality to have a "backup" guy, I am normally focused on one person but she does have a point. Please don't say just dump him because we all know that it is not that easy when you are attached to someone.

I took her advice and within one day I have three back up guys, they are pretty attractive and successful but I love my boyfriend so I don't like giving my number to guys and talking to them behind his back even though he may be doing that with girls

He is different now and it's hurting me :(

advice please


Most Helpful Guy

  • Any excuse girls will use, to justify their cheating ways.

    For now, it's the old "He's just not as communicative as he used to be" excuse.


    • i dunno. I feel that he find me uninteresting these days because he now knows I am into him, now that he has beaten off all the possible suitors with a stick I think he finds me less attractive or less interesting nd probably find other girls who are showing off hot and interesting

    • Show All
    • Lady I barely know you and already think you're as annoying as f***.

    • wow

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • LOL your friend sounds like a total hoe. Yeah get some backup guys. That will sure show your boyfriend lol.

    • lol, I think she means well even though it's weird

  • Instead of doing what I'd call borderline cheating, why don't you talk to your bf.

    • i try, he just makes weird comments and be sarcastic and say I don't ask, I make statements

  • He might just be stressing out about work or another issue. Things are probably just fine.

    If you put too much stress on it, it will become a problem.

    • ok. Maybe I am just being insecure

What Girls Said 3

  • I agree, I think your friend gave you terrible advice. If you already have potential guys that means you yourself have signed off from the relationship. Is he going through something? Honestly it could just be his own demons. It could have nothing to do with you. Is he a good guy? Would he lead you on knowing full right that its over for him in his mind? If he isn't a good guy then slowly back off and pursue other guys. But it sounds like you love him. You have to risk getting hurt in relationships. If he acts indifferent give him space and do something for you, He will come around. They always do. Please don't listen to your friend, her advice is immature at best.

    • ps if he says its nothing, it probably is, guys won't sugar coat anything, and usually us girls are thinking too much

    • maybe... who knows... cause I don't

  • Your friend gave you terrible advice.

    Your natural instincts are the right ones. Stay true to yourself. Your friend is trying to drag you down to her level and you don't want to be there.

    Let him know how you feel and how serious this is to you and you need to honest open discussion about it and how he feels.

    Beware: Women don't wish for good things to happen to other women. Women are like cats. "She's got a man...I want him!" and/or "I'm divorced and unhappy so I want her to be divorced and unhappy!" Girls are almost always competing with each other.

    • she is dating someone for a year now. I don't know what to do though, I am trying to distance myself but it doesn't work cause he'll go off on a rant saying stuff like where were you, why are you acting weird and when I tell him how I feel he is like that's silly, yet he says some really awful things these days

    • I know you really care about him. If he is not treating you right or blows off your feelings then you have some tough choices to make.

      The best thing to do is to tell him the issues you have with the relationship and how he is acting. If he does not respond with care and love then it may be time to move on.

  • If you're not happy and you've talked w him about it and he's doing nothing to change then just let him go because he really doesn't give a sh*t about you then. Having guys on the side is stupid and slutty and just shows that you are insecure and can't stand to be alone.

    • You can downvote me all you want honey but you know I'm right. If you really care about your guy you will give your all to make it work and if he's not willing to meet you halfway then you have your answer and can move on and find someone else. I stand by the fact that if you need to find backup guys you are just highly insecure and immature. Good luck

    • i did not downvote you. I even up vote the person who said I was annoying. why would i? I am not very thin skinned you know, relax, it's not that big of a deal if someone down-voted you