Is it normal to date someone who is 20 years younger than me while the mother is 2 years older than me?

I'm in love with a girl who is 20 years younger than me, but her mother is 2 years older than me. I'm 40, she is 20 and her mother is 42. Can this really work? Her mother is happily married with 4 kids. But all of her kids are very well legal in age And her fourth kid is 4 years old. A few years ago I wanted to talk to this girl who is 13 years younger that me, but her mom is also 2 years older me. But she said that her mom wouldn't like it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Can you blame her mother? Of course her mother would not like it. There would be something very wrong if her mother did NOT have a problem with it. What is wrong with dating someone closer to your own age and has more in common with where you are at in your life? You have nothing in common with a 20 year old, and if you do, there's something else wrong. She barely out of high school. She isn't even done growing yet. She can't even legally drink.

    As a 20 year old myself, I would smack one of my girlfriends if she wanted to be with a 40 year old man. You will never have anything in common with her and her friends.

    • I have a big age range. I guess it's because my parents are 22 years apart from each other. I bet your parents are either the same age or a few years apart. And that's why you don't believe in couples with a big age gap. Believe me I've tried dating females my age. But it's either they aren't attracted to me or I'm not attracted to them. Some been through bad relationships and have their guards up. And my kindness run them away. Some have been married and have too many kids. I have none.

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    • Whether you have kids or not does not make you more mature/older/etc. Again, I know plenty of girls who are my age, who have at least one kid if not more, and they are no where near as mature or as far in their life as I am. Yes, I think she will probably still be concerned. You are still 20 years older than her baby girl. I don't think you not having kids will really make that much of a difference in her mother's mind.

    • Ok, well looks that's something I'm going to have to deal with. Shall I say something that we both have to deal with. She is in my life for reason and I'm I'm her life for a reason. Or we would have never met. But it's seen every girl that I have a neutral attraction there's always a conflict. But this has to be different this time.

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What Girls Said 5

  • She could be your daughter you know? You must know that she's still very young for you, she need to grow up first. If you marry a girl her age, you might end up marrying a little girl. Consider the differences, she may like things you don't even know, you may like things she may not even heard or saw in her entire life. Imagine, you were thirty when she was just a ten year old kid. You were twenty when she was just a newly born baby. She's still a child inside, I know that because I am only a year older than her. Talking about her mother, her mother may not like you because you are almost her age. You maybe a good man but that doesn't mean you can understand her daughter's feelings because you are too old for her. I am not saying dating a younger girl is bad. If you two like each othere then go for it. There is nothing wrong with being with someone you love, beside age doesn't matter, right?if she likes you too then its better.

    • Yeah, but I would never even think about having kids that young. I believe in having kid when you are married. But it doesn't always happen that way. She could never seen like my daughter. We are 2 different races. And yes she is still learning. Probably why she likes me. She does knows how old I'm am. But it's the mother it's her parents that I'm concern about. I don't need their permission. She is old enough to make her own decision now. That's why she is talking to me. Just want their Blessing

  • Dating is supposed to be a mature thing to do. Mother's don't count.

    If you two are equally attracted then go for it. but I learned from family that age does make a difference because you'll be 50 when she'll be 30 and when you guys get settled and have kids, will you still have the energy?


    From experience...

    • I been competing in track and field since high school and still training and competing. And I don't look my age. So yes I do have the energy. That's not a problem at all. I'm actually better shape than she is, haha. But thanks for your comment :)

  • I'm 26 I don't think I could date someone who is 46 . Would you date some one who would be nearly 70 when you are the age you are now? What's wrong with women closer to your age?

    • depends. If she have kids and they are all 18 and up. Then no I wouldn't. Her mom have kids who are all legal except for one.

    • I don't understand your response?

  • Don't think its not normal.

    A lot of people have partners that are a lot older or younger.

    If the realtionship is right then I don't see why it should be a problem.

    Others may disagree with that, but when its love its love.

    It's hard to imagine I would do that... but becuase of the situations I have grown up in

    I know there is nothing wrong with it.

    Do what feels right and respect the girl :)

    Please answer my sexuality question :)


    • Thanks, and I will :)

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    • I've seen all of them so far but I guess you went anon? :)

    • Ok :)

  • Is not hugely common... but yes its normal...

    Its a hard subject... a lot of people would object to it.

    My dad was 23 years older than my mum and they started the realtionship when she was 21. They were madley deeply in love and it really worked!

    He was well liked by my mums dad and the rest of the family.

    If its love it will work out, age doesn't always matter. It depends on the foundations of the relationship and how you work together.

    • Thanks, my parents are 22 years apart. Unfortunately they are not together. But that doesn't me that it will happen to us.

What Guys Said 3

  • These girls barely have life experience and you're exploiting that weakness for your own sick pleasure. It's not wrong, afterall you like what you like. It's just really f***in inappropriate.

    They CAN look after themselves, sure. It's NOT breaking any law. But come on. You're behaving like a child. You know what the ramifications are for choosing partners who could be your daughters. You're a grown man. Now man up and deal with the consequences. If you can't handle it, go for women in your neck of the woods.

  • I find it hard to relate to many 20 year old girls at 31. I'm sure that's exacerbated at 40 thus why you are asking to begin with... While I wouldn't at that age, if she's fine with it, and you are as well then do what you want. It really depends on the girl and where she's at in life. I can't say that I've met a ton of emotionally mature, responsible adults that are 20 or younger. Some start to get there around 22 to 25, but are still figuring things out.

    • She doesn't want to let me go. And she is mature for her age. But at the sametime. I believe she like me because I have a lot of life experience.

  • i say be a man and take what you want

    if the girl likes you and you like her I don't see a reason why yous wouldn't go for it just because it makes some people puke.