I'm very well aware of all the things that make one "date-able" such as personality, confidence, appearance, etc. and I've painstakingly gone over myself with a fine-toothed comb.
But does the fact that I'm a "good-boy" make me undate-able? I mean "good-boy" in the sense that I'm the type of guy who doesn't think with his junk, doesn't party all that often, isn't constantly hitting on girls, but has a "heart of gold" as many people have told me. I am a LITTLE bit shy at first, but NO MORE than anyone else is. I'm just like anyone else I know, but dare I say, without the "toxicity."
When I see my friends who have girls, they've all hooked up while drunk at parties, done "stuff", then they're an item all of a sudden. Or something along those lines.
+++ So here is what I want help with:
If I want someone, even a short-term thing, am I supposed to be doing all that stuff I don't do? Why if it's not who I am?
Where do I meet girls who will good matches for me? Please don't say "By doing things you like" because it never happens for me. People who say this make it sound like you just sign up for something, and there will be girls perfectly suited for you, ripe for the picking. Has never worked like that for me.
Also, I HATE when people say "Be patient, the right girl will come along." Why? Because I look around and see people cycling through endless dating opportunities - while I must sit and wait patiently.
Please read this post carefully, because I'm looking for very SPECIFIC answers.
Most Helpful Girl
Usually girls fall for boys who treat them as s**t. They don't call regularly, they don't text first, they mess with their heads, but girls don't want to let them go. You just have to be yourself. Imagine you've partying all day and night and hooked up with some girl. After a while (because it looks from your description that you're not a partying type) you wouldn't be able to pretend anymore and that girl will think you're fake. If you want to meet someone nice, go to a party (1 or 2 ) with your friends, there must be some nice girls there (usually they're standing on the side, holding their drink, looking around, usually people don't notice them). If that's not your thing, maybe a hangout with a group of friends and some people with whom are they hanging out (because people in their twenie meet potential boyfriend or Girlfriend in their circle of friends). Doing things you like doesn't necessary mean a hoby, sports and etc., it can mean gong to your favorite bookshop, café, restaurant or CD store. If you see someone interesting there, you can start the conversation with a vity comment about CD or book. If you're with a group of friends, you can tell some jokes, talk about something exciting that happened to you, something that's interesting but what won't make you look stupid or humiliated. The patience thing is true. Usually people have to have their hart broken 3 times to finally find a person that's perfect for them (I read this somewhere). That happens because we're busy persuading persons for whom we think they're good for us, but we're noticing others around us and when we realize that those others are there, it's usually to late. Next time you see a girl you like or think just she's cute, go over, talk to her, if you don't know her ask a friend to introduce you or make up a silly situation so you could start a conversation. When you feel it's time, take her number, ask her out. If you click-OK, if not, still OK because you tried. The most important thing is not to give up and keep on trying. Hope I helped.0